The Forbidden Fruit

Every morning when I open the newspaper (the entertainment section ofcourse), I read many articles about how great Indian cinema is. And about how much coverage our Indian actors are getting at the Cannes Film Festival. And how A-list Hollywood actors want to be a part of Bollywood movies now.

When I read such articles, I can't help but think, do we live in our very own Indian bubble?

To be honest, I don't think we make great films. There are a few that are good or some that can be watched once maybe. Most are made for the masses and these crowd pullers are usually slapstick or made with the sense of humour of a 5 year old.

Then the other day while having one of the most random conversations with a friend, I reached the conclusion that as strange as our films may be, no other film industry has the imagination and creativity that we have.

This was how my conversation went:

Friend: I love eating this asian mango and sticky rice dessert.

Me: Rice is main course. Not dessert.

Friend: No you must try it. It's really good.

Me: Ok, mail me some.

Friend: I'm just sending it.

Me: Fedex?

Friend: No. With a dove. Fedex is so old fashioned.

Me: A bird?
[I am not a fan of birds in general and the one time I tried to feed grains to pigeons, they scratched me and made me cry and that was the end of that friendship.]

So while my friend (who is American) was trying to show me the ways of the 21st Century, I showed him this.

Yes, our Bollywood filmmakers always thought ahead and out of the box.

We used birds as delivery boys back in the 80's.

I was 4 years old when Maine Pyar Kiya was released. At that age all I did was just stare at the screen, so for me it was as good as watching He-Man.

And then when I watched the video a few days ago to prove a point to my friend, I was thoroughly amused by the ridiculousness of the imagination of Sooraj Barjatya.

These were my observations:

> The bird (white pigeon) is used as a messenger to deliver Bhagyashree's first love letter to Salman Khan.

> The bird then flies out of the window and directly into the backseat of the car. This is because:

- The bird is not a plane with an in-built GPS system and doesn't know directions in the sky.

- The bird is crazy lazy.

> The bird reaches the party sitting in the car while Bhagyashree puts on some jewelry, prays to God and sets the table for dinner.
> The bird continues to be lazy and finds his way around the party while being carried around by a waiter along with a tray full of cold drinks.

> Kabutar finally delivers the letter to Salman Khan.

> Salman gets excited on reading it and spends the day laying on the grass while kabutar has a little drink.
> He then suddenly drives back to his palatial home like Schumacher where Bhagyashree has been waiting for him in the balcony surrounded by tacky flashing Neon lights that say ice-cream (which are used to add drama to the scene?).
> Kabutar finally uses it's wings and decides to fly back home and inform Bhagyashree that Salman is on his way.
> Salman reaches home and greets his lady love with open arms.

> She goes running to him and greets him with a 'passionate hug' in true 80's style.

> The next day they are in a garden and Kabutar keeps making an appearance from time to time. Suddenly they are surrounded by apples.

Yes, apples.

Was it set decoration of the 80s?

Was Bhagyashree hungry?

Was it Salman's way of saying How do you like them apples?

Or was it just the forbidden fruit?

I think it was Sooraj Barjatya's way of showing 'an expression of love' back in the day when Emraan Hashmi was still a child.

This made me realise that as bad as his movies were, Sooraj Barjatya did start a trend. 

A trend carried on by the makers of Desperate Housewives in their opening credits.

Adam & Eve by Lucas Cranach.

When in doubt, look to the Bible for creative inspiration.