The birds and the bees

When people travel, their eyes open up to a whole new world.

A friend of mine went diving recently and she told me about how her experience changed the way she saw everything.

We're so caught up in our everyday lives that we forget to see what's around us.

And when we go deep sea diving and find ourselves in a space that one can only describe as infinite and blue, it makes us feel small. And our problems seem silly. 

But, since we're all not fortunate enough to experience this, we tend to get lost in our own lives and think that the world revolves around us.

So take a moment.

And think.

I did.

I couldn't sleep one night last week.

And it was at that strange time when you couldn't be sure if it's night or morning.

And all of a sudden it was like all the birds of the world had woken up.

And let me add that this wasn't the chirpy little tune you hear in Cinderella-like movies where the birds sound like they are singing nursery rhymes and lullabies while helping Cindy get dressed.

In my case it was crows.

Only crows. Cawing.

And thankfully not attempting to help me get dressed.

Which made me wonder.

Did they all just wake up from their slumber?

Do birds actually sleep?

How do they sleep?

Standing?

Isn't that weird?

It was such a simple question and even though I thought it would be obvious that they would sleep, I didn't know anything about how that happened.

And so I googled it.

Here's what happens: 

Some birds have special flexor tendons that help them hold onto branches that help them sleep standing up. 

Some float on water.

Some of them sleep with their head in their feathers. 

And some birds like owls are just party animals. They stay up all night.

That's it.

After this I went on to how do fish sleep and other interesting facts that most people don't care enough to know.

But you should care.

About the birds.

And the bees.

And the birds and the bees.

Here's what wikipedia says about the coining of the phrase:

According to tradition, the birds and the bees is a metaphorical story sometimes told to children in an attempt to explain the mechanics and good consequences of sexual intercourse through reference to easily observed natural events. For instance, bees carry and deposit pollen into flowers, a visible and easy-to-explain example of male fertilization. Another example, birds lay eggs, a similarly visible and easy-to-explain example of female ovulation.

But I meant it literally.

Which led me to a whole range of videos by Isabella Rossellini.

It's called Green Porno.

Starring Isabella Rossellini.

Where she explains how animals have sex and reproduce.

Pretty interesting and funny.

And quite educational too.

And if someone walks into the room while you're watching this, they'll just think you're strange and that's not too bad.

It's better than watching a movie like Her and having to explain to your mother that Joaquin Phoenix is having sex with his OS.

Watch more Green Porno here.

The Grand Budapest Hotel

I finally finally finally watched The Grand Budapest Hotel today.
Somehow everyone I know had watched it on a flight.
And I was contemplating whether or not to travel soon just to watch this movie.
Since I was too lazy to be a pirate.

Like all other Wes Anderson movies, I thoroughly enjoyed this one.

From the colours.

To the strange but loveable characters.

To the cute little love story.

And Wes Anderson's love for centering all his shots.


gifs via giphy.

Les Ballons Rouges

Have you watched the movie Le Ballon Rouge by Albert Lamorisse?

I watched it on Youtube last year and fell in love with it.

It's just the sweetest little movie.

And it won Lamorisse an Oscar.

I would tell you what it's about but I think it's better if you watch it yourself.

And it's only 34 minutes.

I thought of the movie this morning because while I was doing my daily browsing, I came across this magical chair on Design Milk.

Possibly because there are a bunch of ballons rouges that appear to be tied to the chair.

And when I read the article, I realised that that's exactly what this Japanese designer, was inspired by while creating this beauty of a chair.

Because sometimes you just want to float away.

Well, the designer is no magician. He just fixed the (always inflated) balloons and chair to the wall.

But isn't it great how the simplest things can amaze you?

Check out the designer's other works. Just incase you want a bench or a lamp to go with that chair.

via Design Milk

Disclaimer: The little girl does not come with the chair. She's just there to add to the coolness.

Endless

"The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you."
- Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Thanks Neil.
That makes me feel a lot better.
Not.

via

I've always had so many questions in my mind about the universe and all their answers just seem to fall into a black hole.

Thinking about the endless unknown just gives me goose bumps.

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But at the same time nothing makes me happier than looking at the countless stars in a cloudless sky.
And one day I have to see the Aurora Borealis.
I've seen countless photos but I'm sure there's nothing like seeing the real thing.

I can appreciate the universe knowing that I'm safe on our planet.
So I suppose I could never be an astronaut.
And I confirmed that thought when I watched Gravity last week.
I think I didn't breathe at all through the entire duration of the film.
And was sitting at the edge of my seat.

My throat was actually dry from well, nervousness.
And I had forgotten to open the bottle of water that I had bought.

How was your experience watching the film?
Doesn't the possibility of floating into endlessness give you the heebeejeebees?

Which is why I'd rather sit at home and do this.

Bath planetarium

C'est bon!

A friend of mine emailed me this video.

And it just made my day!

It's a Disney short with Mickey & Minnie (last name Mouse).

And it's in French!

You will hear a lot of café Croissant, café croissant, CAFÉ CROISSANT, café croissant.

It's like you're doing animated sightseeing of Paris in 3 minutes and even get a glimpse of Daisy (last name Duck).

Love it.

C'est très bon!

Have a great week!

[via DesignTaxi]

Oscar morning with Mrs. Obama

Did you just watch the Oscars?

Like every year I did.

I didn't manage to wake up at 6am.

But woke up a little after and fastforwarded through the commercials which was great.

But there's something I just love about watching the Oscars while being curled up in bed.

Maybe it's about being in my PJs while the moviestars are as well put together as their wax twins at Madame Tussaud's.

But this year was a bit disappointing, wasn't it?

I didn't looove the dresses.

Or the performances.

Loved how Adele said Fank you. She was cool.

And so was 'the Boob song'. Especially the Kate Winslet part.

I think that woman has showed enough of boobage for her next ten lives as a movie-star.

But the star of the night for me was Tarantino.

That man talks like he's chatting with his pals at home while watching a football game and drinking some beers. But wait, that's his Oscar speech.

Love how he is just oozing with so much confidence that it almost seems intimidating.

After hours of watching the Red Carpet glamour and the entire award show, it finally came down to Michelle Obama presenting for the Best Movie category.

Now I felt pretty bad about how Jack Nicholson was sidelined.

Because the First Lady totally stole his thunder.

But you've got to love Michelle Obama.

Especially after this.

This lady knows how to have a good time.

And say it's for a cause - the Let's Move Campaign.

Here's to no more fat kids in America.

Hooray!

The Globes

 

Don't you just love the Globes?

 

I wake up at 630 am only twice a year.

For the Golden Globes and the Oscars.

With the time difference et al we Indians have to suffer the task of setting our alarm to that unearthly hour. But I do it. And with no complaints. And without hitting the snooze button even once.

 

This year it just happened to slip my sleepy mind.

And I even forgot to catch the re-run at 9 pm.

I could have cried.

 

But alas! I had Tata Sky + and could magically record it the next time it was on TV.

And so I only managed to watch it today. 4 whole days later.

 

There was no Red carpet bit. But I caught the rest of the show and it was fantabulous as always.

The energy that fills that room seems so electric.

I wish I could be there some day.

My childhood dream was to watch Oprah Live but now ever since she lost that zing I've replaced that dream with this one/ watching the Oscars/ well, there's a long list.

 

Watching the show even days later was so worth it.

 

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler had me in splits with their special flavour of humour. Let's just call it shamelessness.

 

Jodie Foster's speech gave me a lump in my throat which somehow helped keep my tears hidden behind my eyeballs.

 

I loved how Ben Affleck used his wife Jennifer Garner to complete his Thank you speech when she went on stage to present another award.

 

And why was Lena Dunham walking like a penguin-robot in her gown? Ok I'm just being mean because she's amazing and I'm jealous. So much talent and she's only 26!

 

I couldn't get enough of the Americans saying Les Mi-say-rrraa-bluh in the most Frenchified* accent they could pull off.

 

SNL's Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig were so mad-funny. I could just keep replaying it and laugh again.

 

Was Jennifer Lopez wearing a dress or was that just body glitter?

 

Arnold Shwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone presenting for Foreign Language film in what sounded like a foreign language.

 

Claire Danes, Megan Fox and Jessica Alba - new mothers who are thinner than me. FML!

And Adele. Oh Adele! Love how she said Aw ma goddd at the start of her speech.
 

Leo DiCaprio - Always a nominee. Never a winner.

 

Meryl Streep - Always a winner. But suddenly just a nominee. Who mysteriously got the flu.

 

Bill Clinton being introduced as Hillary's husband.

 

And then there was the fun part of taking mental notes of who I think are lookalikes.

- Jodie Foster and Helen Hunt

- Glenn Close and flu stricken Meryl Streep who didn't make it.

- Emily Blunt and Zooey Deschanel minus the bangs.

- Jessica Lange and Sigourney Weaver

- Dame Maggie Smith and Holland Taylor

- Daniel Craig and Jeremy Renner

- Jeremy Irons and Daniel Day Lewis

 

And then there were a lot of fun trailers too.

I have a long list of movies to watch now. And Silver Linings Playbook seems to be topping the list.

 

What can I say. I just love the Globes.

 

Golden.

 

Snow.

 

And the regular one I had on my desk when I was a child.

Ok it wasn't so regular.

It was lit from within.

And I don't mean that metaphorically but literally.

 

 

* made it sound as close to French as possible.

Different from french fries.

Things I have learned from movies

Book by Stefan Sagmeister. Photo by me.

Your foot is as big as your arm from your elbow to your wrist - Pretty Woman (1990)

With great power comes great responsibility - Spiderman (2002)

If you are going to eat pie, you'd rather pass on a la mode. Ice cream weakens the legs - Knight and Day (2010)

Vampires don't fry in the sunlight but shine bright like a diamond - Twilight (2008)

If you leave the shutter open long enough but you stand still, everything in the picture will blur except you - A Lot like Love (2005)

I is kind, I is smart, I is important - The Help (2011)

If I had to use one word

I haven't written a movie review in a while.

Not like my reviews are to be taken seriously or that I'm any sort of critic but in the last few months I've watched a couple of movies, most of which were jsnxet6kvx.

If you're wondering about what that means, well, it means nothing.

Because I have no proper words to describe most of the movies I watched recently.

via

To give you an idea and hopefully save you from wasting a few hours of your life (considering the fact that hours are precious these days with the world coming to an end and all), here are my one word reviews for the movies I've watched. Some are movies based on books, none of which I've read.

Barfi - Inspired.

Or let's not be politically correct and just use the word copied.

Which makes me feel a bit embarrassed about it being India's official entry to the Oscars.

But then again I'm not surprised since the music and some scenes have been inspired by big Oscar favourites like Amelie, Chaplin and Life is Beautiful.

Aiyaa - Soft porn.

The songs are shocking and the director has got to be a perv.

Skyfall - eh.

Not good enough to make me use a word. They should've stopped making movies after Casino Royale.

Student of the Year - Bollywood High School Musical with Punjabis.

Life of Pi - Beautiful but tiring.

Didn't make me feel closer to God and interpretations make me feel tired. I just want to be entertained.

Argo - Amazing.

But my nervousness didn't allow me to breathe for the duration of half the movie.

Moonrise Kingdom - Cute. Perfect for a lazy weeknight.

The Twilight Saga - Breaking Dawn Part 2 - Silly but I love it.

Good Vampires killing bad vampires, falling in love with humans, becoming friends with werewolves and making human-vampire babies. How can you not love the ridiculousness of it all?

Talaash - Indian Sixth Sense.

I guessed the suspense by the middle of the movie so it wasn't all that wow.

Clearly I have too much to say and one word reviews are not happening.

Craig. Daniel Craig.

Skyfall, the new James Bond movie is releasing here today and I can't wait to watch it.

The reason - 100% Daniel Craig.

The first Bond movie I watched was probably Goldeneye in 1995. I remember loving the song. And I thought Pierce Brosnan was the shizzle and could never be replaced by another Bond ever again.

And then when Daniel Craig waltzed in as the new Bond, I remember being disappointed.

And then I watched Casino Royale and everything changed.

Daniel Craig was so perfectly cast. Such a manly man!

He was so much more than being about the gadgets, the women and the martinis.

And made me think about how Pierce Brosnan should have stuck to being Remington Steele.
Don't you agree?

The Forbidden Fruit

Every morning when I open the newspaper (the entertainment section ofcourse), I read many articles about how great Indian cinema is. And about how much coverage our Indian actors are getting at the Cannes Film Festival. And how A-list Hollywood actors want to be a part of Bollywood movies now.

When I read such articles, I can't help but think, do we live in our very own Indian bubble?

To be honest, I don't think we make great films. There are a few that are good or some that can be watched once maybe. Most are made for the masses and these crowd pullers are usually slapstick or made with the sense of humour of a 5 year old.

Then the other day while having one of the most random conversations with a friend, I reached the conclusion that as strange as our films may be, no other film industry has the imagination and creativity that we have.

This was how my conversation went:

Friend: I love eating this asian mango and sticky rice dessert.

Me: Rice is main course. Not dessert.

Friend: No you must try it. It's really good.

Me: Ok, mail me some.

Friend: I'm just sending it.

Me: Fedex?

Friend: No. With a dove. Fedex is so old fashioned.

Me: A bird?
[I am not a fan of birds in general and the one time I tried to feed grains to pigeons, they scratched me and made me cry and that was the end of that friendship.]

So while my friend (who is American) was trying to show me the ways of the 21st Century, I showed him this.

Yes, our Bollywood filmmakers always thought ahead and out of the box.

We used birds as delivery boys back in the 80's.

I was 4 years old when Maine Pyar Kiya was released. At that age all I did was just stare at the screen, so for me it was as good as watching He-Man.

And then when I watched the video a few days ago to prove a point to my friend, I was thoroughly amused by the ridiculousness of the imagination of Sooraj Barjatya.

These were my observations:

> The bird (white pigeon) is used as a messenger to deliver Bhagyashree's first love letter to Salman Khan.

> The bird then flies out of the window and directly into the backseat of the car. This is because:

- The bird is not a plane with an in-built GPS system and doesn't know directions in the sky.

- The bird is crazy lazy.

> The bird reaches the party sitting in the car while Bhagyashree puts on some jewelry, prays to God and sets the table for dinner.
> The bird continues to be lazy and finds his way around the party while being carried around by a waiter along with a tray full of cold drinks.

> Kabutar finally delivers the letter to Salman Khan.

> Salman gets excited on reading it and spends the day laying on the grass while kabutar has a little drink.
> He then suddenly drives back to his palatial home like Schumacher where Bhagyashree has been waiting for him in the balcony surrounded by tacky flashing Neon lights that say ice-cream (which are used to add drama to the scene?).
> Kabutar finally uses it's wings and decides to fly back home and inform Bhagyashree that Salman is on his way.
> Salman reaches home and greets his lady love with open arms.

> She goes running to him and greets him with a 'passionate hug' in true 80's style.

> The next day they are in a garden and Kabutar keeps making an appearance from time to time. Suddenly they are surrounded by apples.

Yes, apples.

Was it set decoration of the 80s?

Was Bhagyashree hungry?

Was it Salman's way of saying How do you like them apples?

Or was it just the forbidden fruit?

I think it was Sooraj Barjatya's way of showing 'an expression of love' back in the day when Emraan Hashmi was still a child.

This made me realise that as bad as his movies were, Sooraj Barjatya did start a trend. 

A trend carried on by the makers of Desperate Housewives in their opening credits.

Adam & Eve by Lucas Cranach.

When in doubt, look to the Bible for creative inspiration.

Silence!

The hardest thing for me to do in life is be silent.

I am not the best listener and I always have too much to say.

So trying Vipassana is a plan I had to throw out of the window.

People say it helps with self growth so I always thought maybe I should give it a try.

Plus it may help if I ever get stranded on an island like Tom Hanks in Cast Away without a Wilson.

I just think it's not for me.

But, I've always wondered what some silence in my life would be like.

And last week, I experienced it twice.

Part 1

I went for the screening of an old French film.

All the French I know is from about 3 French songs and about 10 more words.

But, it didn't matter since this was a silent film.

I walked in about 10 minutes late which sort of added to the confusion.

The film was called Three Ages.

It was a comedy film about a man trying hard to win over the heart of a woman which is shown over 3 ages - the stone age, ancient Rome and the 20's which ended up looking like a mash up of the Flintstones, Ben Hur and the Artist.

What made it interesting was that a French jazz band called Ozma was playing the background score for the film. Live!

It was a bit strange but good strange.

It ended with the good guy finally winning the heart of the woman. 

Love. Good winning over evil. Music. 

What's not to like?

Everyone went home pleased with themselves and with life in general.

Movies like this make me believe in happy endings.

Part 2

[Don't laugh].

I went to a silent disco.

It was out of sheer curiosity.

I was more than excited to experience this but unfortunately it turned out to be a little disappointing.

Now you may wonder what kind of a nutjob goes for a silent disco. And what is a silent disco?

Well, a silent disco is one where the DJ streams the music straight to your wireless headphones.

The point of this is:

1. So there can be more than 1 DJ at a time and you can choose which one you want to tune into so everyone is dancing to different music at the same time.

2. To look like a complete moron to those who don't have headphones on.

To me all these reasons sounded good enough to go and give it a try.

I thought this could only be fun or funny so what have I got to lose?

The silent disco that I went to was in an open ground so anyone could walk in and enjoy it.

It was at an Indo-German event in the city. They had covered the ground with beautiful mini pavilions for their different events and you just didn't feel like you were in the middle of Bombay.

Unfortunately, in our case, 

- there was only one dj - Ada who took a while to start playing the fun music.

- and the reception on the headphones wasn't perfect so I'd keep reseting it and had moments where I was listening to cricket match commentary, Gotye, Coldplay and Munni badnaam hui on the radio.

We even got 3d glasses to enjoy the visuals created by B.L.O.T. 

Just to make sure we looked as ridiculous as possible if we didn't already look funny enough dancing with headphones on.

For some reason I felt like one of those people who were trying to contact aliens by using various devices.

EEE TTTT!

A good reason

The other day I planned to watch The Hunger Games with my friend, Mallika.

She almost didn't come with me because she wanted to read the book before watching the movie.

Yes, she is one of those people.

Since I am not, we had a somewhat married couple-ish argument about whether she should watch the movie or if I shouldn't.

I don't have the patience to read unless it's something as fun as Bossypants.

I usually end up skimming or just waiting for the movie.

Mallika, who is studying to be a lawyer really fought her case that day.

She said you must read or you don't know what you're missing out on.

My opinion: Ignorance is bliss.

You don't miss what you don't even know of.

I asked her not to judge me for not having any interest in reading books.

For me it's way too time consuming and just not one of the things I enjoy doing.

Does not reading really makes us lesser humans?

Mallika: Wouldn't you judge someone who didn't enjoy movies?

Me: No.

Mallika: Would you date someone who didn't enjoy movies?

Me: Probably not.

Mallika: I rest my case.

Me: Not because I'd judge him for it but just because if I'm dating someone I'd be spending a lot of time with them and watching movies is something I do a lot so it would be nice to have that in common.

Mallika: Just admit it. I'm right.

Me: No.

via designcrush.

We did watch the movie together which was fun.

And Mallika admitted that she wouldn't have got through the book.

What I learnt from this exercise:

Everyones entitled to have their own opinions.

More importantly, don't judge a movie by it's book.

And Katniss is a funny name.

Since love makes the world go round

Are you in love? 

Do you have a type? 

I don't think I do since at different stages in my life I have been fascinated by completely different people.

By age 10 I was in love with Doogie Howser MD. He was a genius, could cure anything and was handsome according to 10 yr old me.

Luckily things changed and I moved on to having a Leonardo Dicaprio obsession at around age 12.

That was followed by Wolverine, James Bond, Spiderman's friend, a Vampire, a few musicians, many more unrealistic loves and some others.

Then I came back to reality and focused on Leo again. What's not to love about him? He looks good and cares about saving the planet.

1000 points to him. 

And to the rest of you,

Happy Valentine's Day!

Here's one of my favourite songs just for you...

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on your back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
I want more fans, you want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

You're always trying to keep it real
And I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you.


And if you have a little trouble finding a way to shower all that love, here's a little help.

Sweet Dreams

I watched Midnight in Paris yesterday.

Woody Allen has made Paris look oh so beootifool and oh so romantique.

Not quite how I remember Paris. Maybe because I was busy stuffing my face with cheese and chocolate and for some reason salmon.

The movie was lovely. Weird too. But lovely. 

(Don't read the next paragraph unless you've already watched the movie. I hate when people tell you the story and kill it for you).

Owen Wilson - (a screenwriter engaged to Rachel McAdams) gets transported every night at Midnight to Paris in the 20's. 

A time he felt was the Golden Age.

He meets Dali and Hemingway and Picasso and so many others.

He can't believe how lucky he is.

And when he explains the fact that he's from the future while having a drink with a few surrealists, they don't see anything wrong in it. They understand strange.

He falls in love with Adriana - Picasso's lover/ muse.

She takes him back to la Belle Époque - what according to her was Paris' Golden Age.

Here they meet Gaugin, Degas and they think the Renaissance was the Golden Age.

They probably fantasize about having a chat with Michelangelo and Da Vinci.

After a few crazy nights of time traveling, parties and finding love, Owen Wilson decides to part ways with Adriana and live in the present.

Where he instantaneously finds love.

Good enough to forget his fiancé who he ditched minutes earlier.

And this love loves Paris in the rain too.

A match made in heaven.

Fin.

It was just the most beautiful story and the movie had a real Woody Allen feel to it. The credits roll in the strangest way as they do in most of his films which to me end up looking like TV movies. 

But then there were minutes of nothing but music and the beauty that is Paris. 

(If you're wondering who the museum girl is - it's Carla Bruni.

And the French girl who loves Paris in the rain is the assassin from MI4.

Figuring that out took me a while and was really killing me so I thought I'd save you the trouble.)

But, as I was going to sleep last night I couldn't help but think...

Where would I like to be transported to?

Would I be excited/ overwhelmed/ intimidated/ would I burst with creativity in their company?

Well,

I would love to have tea with Dali,

Or jello with Michelangelo

But, maybe I should stop rhyming and just live in the present.

As someone once said, 

"Yesterday is History, 

Tomorrow is a Mystery,

Today is a Gift,

That's why it's called the Present."

Or just forget all that and go to sleep and have my dreams directed by Woody Allen.

Because besides ice cream nothing in life should be vanilla.

Sweet dreams.

Gollywood

I watched 2 movies over last weekend - one Hollywood and one Bollywood.

They were good/bad and a little bit of ugly.

And then today I woke up and while I stared at the wall in front of me for about half an hour, my mind went into flashback mode (with the hazy white edges) and for some reason I began to compare the two movies.

Here is the list I drew up on Excel. Because sometimes even the most arbid thoughts need to be documented.

For the record I loved Breaking Dawn even with its weird storyline that somehow made sense to me.

The Dirty Picture on the other hand was hard to digest even though it was based on a true story. All it had going for it was Vidya Balan and one good song.

The Dirty Picture is the third movie I have walked out of in my life. The first was LSD and the second was Robot.

I walked out when I thought it had ended when Emraan Hashmi started singing a Sufi song with dancing dervishes around him after miraculously falling in love with Silk. This happened after they both competed while making and starring in triple role films. Bleck!

You only live once

Because you won't get your life twice.

That's a very bad Hindi-to-English literal translation of the movie title Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara by me.
My Hindi is so bad it takes me 5 seconds just to say it. Something like having to say Rab Ne Bana di Jodi.

I watched Zindagi last weekend with zero expectations.
Honestly, it exceeded my expectations and was a good enjoyable film.
So, here and there there are a few things missing. Like a good enough background story showing how true their friendship really is helping us understand who the characters really are.

The music was very catchy. And very Spanish like the rest of the movie.
Sometimes it feels like a 3 hour ad for Spain Tourism.
The first 30 seconds of the movie however are packed with sponsor logos which is when you know you will be hearing a tagline of some brand cleverly put in as part of casual conversation (Dar ke aage jeet hai).
And the opening credits sort of come out of nowhere which seemed like obvious bad editing.

But, I would still call it a good film with good music, good looking people and good humour.
On a rainy Sunday afternoon, that was good enough to keep me entertained.

• Farhan Akhtar was the perfect guy - good looking, writes poetry, uniquely funny, can dance and is adventurous.
• Hrithik minus the attitude and the extra finger was hot.
• Abhay Deol for some reason speaks Hindi with a weird English accent or should I just be honest and call it gay? Nothing against gay people but he sounds like a straight person trying to imitate a gay person if you know what I mean. Plus he shouldn't dance next to Hrithik.
• Katrina was so beautiful. She's come a long way since... when she was chubbier and took longer to do dance steps (I'm not trying to be mean. I just can't remember the names of her earlier films). But, she was just very likeable.
• Unlike Kalki who had a character who wasn't. But good job.

All that traveling and adventure made me want to pack my bags right away and head to a land far far away. And soon.

When I got home that evening, I met one of my friends, Mallika who had also watched the movie.
She asked me if I would ever do any of those adventurous things seen in the film.

• Well, I'm definitely not running down a street with bulls chasing me.
• I wouldn't mind scuba but I sometimes feel like my ear pressure isn't right when I can't balance well in Yoga. Am I a hypochondriac?
• And skydiving? I always wanted to try it. But, when it came down to it, would I?

I thought to myself -
[at some level it seems pointless. It's either like committing suicide with a parachute or diving out of a plane for kicks and risking your life.

Pretty mixed up. Maybe the adrenalin rush you get is worth it.

But I'm not an adrenaline junkie.]

So, here's how the conversation went:
Me: I am not scared of heights. At all. But, yes to jump out of a plane I would be scared. So my answer is "I don't know".
Mallika (looking disinterested on hearing my answer): What about birds? They can't commit suicide right?
Me: By jumping from a height?
Mallika: Yea. Or even by slitting their wrists.
Unless they take the sleeping pills route.
It's much easier for fish right?
Me: To jump out of water? Or wait for a big fish?

Long pause. Lost in thought.
And for 5 minutes I was imagining a hundred ways in which a crow could commit suicide.
Mallika would like to compile our arbid thoughts and turn it into a book of short stories called - How 'tequilla' Mocking bird. 
Got it? If you didn't, just keep saying it.
I don't think PETA would be too pleased.

Clearly Zindagi na Milegi Dobara led to very deep conversations about life.

Harry Potter and the blah blah blah

Harry, Hermione & Ron by Nan Lawson.

I watched the last Harry Potter movie over the weekend.

I don't know whether to call myself a fan but I did want to do the whole first day-first show thing.

Unfortunately, it was only playing in multiplexes on the second day. But, I managed to catch the show in 3D. Wohoo! And I got myself there on a rainy day. So, that probably does make me a fan.

Now, it may be a bit pointless do watch it in 3D since it's a regular movie so only things like explosions, dragons and subtitles really pop. Was it worth it? Ofcourse it was.

I watched the movie with a friend of mine. She's watched the last few movies of the series with me. And it's always the same routine. We watch the movie, feel great and go and get a drink later because we're so happy and feel the need to celebrate.

my 3D glasses

So, on Saturday I went to watch Harry Potter and the blah blah blah in 3D.

I went armed with a sweater and warm socks (with hearts all over them). For some reason my friends find it embarassing to be seen with me when I look like this. Ok, so maybe sometimes I look like I've popped right out of Alice in Wonderland but I have my reasons. I am only making sure I don't go home sneezing. As much as I love going to the theatre, I hate how it feels like I've bought a ticket to watch a movie in a refrigerator with 300 other people.

Anyway, we got to the theatre a little late. My taxi was moving slowly, I was running in the rain, then stopping to take a breath because I'm not as young as I look, then walking instead of running so I don't slip outside, got my bag checked a bunch of times like I was a criminal and reached about 5 minutes late.

I was pretty mad at myself for reaching late since before rushing and leaving home I had spent an hour moving very slowly - washing and drying my hair and eating the Shawerma that my mother had made with so much love. But then we walked into the theatre and got super cool 3D glasses. The childish excitement made me forgive myself for being late. I got Yellow glasses and my friend got Blue. And we both got a wet tissue packet with it so we could disinfect it before using it. How cool is that? And thoughtful. But, does it really work? I don't know. Wouldn't germs spread more on a damp item? Ok, I need help.

Steering away from the tangent, and cruising back to the point, I absolutely loved the movie. And I didn't even need popcorn to complete the perfect cinematic experience.

A friend who had read the books told me she was slightly disappointed with the last movie.

Obviously a movie can't cover every detail written over 100s of pages.

I'm glad that I hadn't read any of the books. The movie had quite a few surprises in it for me.

And I love surprises.

The experience in a nutshell:

• Harry, Hermione and Ron's accents are so fun.
• I've always loved the names of all the characters. My favourites being Bellatrix Lestrange and Luna Lovegood.
• Love the spells. Luckily I can't actually use them or I'd be the Queen of Control Freaks if I could use Imperio every now and then.
• Snape and his powerful voice that commands your attention.
• Voldemort's laugh after he thinks he's killed Harry is pure evil. Love it.
• The finale being all that I expected it to be.
• Good winning over evil: the perfect ending. I believe in happy endings as clichéd and unreal as they may seem. It gives us hope. So why not?

My favourite line in the movie was the one Dumbledore says to Harry when he's in limbo:

"Ofcourse it's all in your head Harry, but why should that mean it's not real?"

Which basically means that what's real is what we label as real.
Do we really dream at night and live our regular lives during the day or is it the other way?
Do we believe what we do because we have been told to?
Something to think about.


Dear JK Rowling,
You are a genius.
Thank you for making my imagination pop and explode beyond a space that even I didn't know existed.

Trilo-gee if only it didn't end after 3 films

What's your favourite trilogy?

I watched the Bourne Trilogy again a few weekends ago. It's my favourite.

Watching it all at once makes it easier to connect the dots. Everything fits in so perfectly in the story. It's too bad that every girl who comes in contact with Bourne got a weird makeover. But Matt Damon with his easy intelligence and collection of passports is just perfect.

Which makes me think, in DDLJ (Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge) - one of the most famous Bollywood movies, did you really notice how in the end Kajol jumps onto the train with Shahrukh? All that running. Will she make it? Will she not? And then she does. And everyone's happy. And Anupam Kher starts singing le jayenge le jayenge. But, where's her passport?

Did anyone ever question it?

Kajol could learn a thing or two from Bourne.

Getting back to the point, trilogies are awesome.

But, every trilogy messes up somewhere. Usually it's the sequel.

Except in the case of the Terminator.

T2, as I dearly call it, was on my most watched movies list as a child.

"I'll be back" said in Arnold Shwarjfkjfjhsz's (however you spell that) semi Austrian-semi Robotic voice felt reassuring and made me feel protected.

The Matrix got it right in the first one.

They found The One and then it got messed up.

Is that how it always works?

Twilight was weird but good weird right? Wait, doesn't that have 4 parts?

What about Golmaal? 

No Comment.

And Lord of the Rings.

Yaaaaawnnn!

I just kept wondering how much time they spent in blowdrying their hair.

And what about The Godfather trilogy? If you regularly read my blog, you'll see quotes from The Godfather everywhere. But, it's been a while since I've watched it. And maybe it's time to watch it again.

And I never really got down to watching Star Wars. That's got an original trilogy, sequel trilogy and even a prequel trilogy. Do I have the time?

And then there was High School Musical.

I love it. Yes, I am super old for it. And super old to have the hots for Zac Efron even.

Sometimes his perfection is even a little disturbing.

But, I love the sing-along quality of it's songs.

Or maybe it's just me who sings along. Besides all the 10 year olds.
Is it time to pack my bags and head to Cougar town?

Unfortunately my obsession with High School Musical or just HSM is no secret.
My friend Shivani got me this keychain all the way from London.
And it doubles up as a torch.
Brilliant!

Jelly Belly

Hello.

How was your weekend?
Did you rush to one of those crazy July sales where you end up buying a lovely t-shirt and realise it has a hole in it when you get home?
Luckily that wasn't me.

My Sunday began as a lazy one but turned out to be pretty eventful.

I woke up and booked tickets on bookmyshow.com at 11am for a 12pm show of Delhi Belly.

I was lucky enough to get the last few tickets and managed to pack up my family in the car just in time and rushed for the movie.

Now, I had been told by my friend (of flowery clip gifting fame) not to sit in between my mother and grandmother while watching the movie like she had the previous day and warned me about facing some awkward moments.

I braced myself for 1 hour 45 minutes of awkwardness knowing that there wouldn't be an interval when I could stuff my face with popcorn which would hide my embarassed expressions since my face would be too busy looking circular.

So, I know I've been shuttling between playing food critic, film critic, celebrity critic and life advisor among many other unnecessary roles in my blog and I'm not sure if I ever get taken seriously with any of them but, who cares?

Here are my thoughts on Delhi Belly:

I won't get into the story like most film critics because I don't want to ruin it for you just the way noone did for me. So here's a little summary.

Acting : Good. Very natural. Loved all the characters. I even liked the girl (who played Maneka) who was the only actor I didn't recognise. And even though she reminded me a lot of this girl from school who I wasn't fond of but the boys were fond of (I'm sure you know what I mean), I still managed to like her.

Portrayal of 3 men living together: Couldn't be more real. Or more disgusting.

Story: Non-existent but still holds your attention.

Dialogues: Casually woven with 'bad words' but super hilarious.

Favourite dialogue: That's what you get when a donkey fucks a rickshaw. (Kunaal Roy Kapoor referring to the car gifted to Imran Khan by his daddy (father-in-law to be). 

Most relatable dialogue: Can you make the banana a little happier? By 7%? (Art director telling illustrator played by Vir Das how to make a small change which basically means make a whole new drawing and forget about your weekend).

Music: Very catchy. And with very honest lyrics.

How much did the seats rock with audience laughter?: More than a very turbulent flight.

And my grandmother's rating: 10/10

I loved the film. Absolutely loved it. It turned my sleepy Sunday morning into a super fun one. It felt as though the theatre had been filled with laughing gas.

The sex related scenes weren't too bad since I was prepared for the worst and my grandmother was too intoxicated with laughter and was just trying to breathe which left little scope for embarassing what-kind-of-movie-have-you-got-me-for stares.

I highly recommend watching Delhi Belly. I think I might just be watching it again very soon. 

The kind of music was just right for the film and was cleverly put into the movie as the background score.

Loved the completely pointless music video in the end.

Left the theatre in happy smiley mode.

And then it was time to go from Delhi Belly to Jelly Belly.

I had a super big lunch at Royal China - definitely more satisfying than Hakkasan + cheaper + you feel cool holding an Ipad menu for some reason.

Ate plenty of Chung fun and washed it down with a pot of green tea only to finish it off with a super creamy non-bitter Caramel custard.

What a day!

I got home to read Bossypants. I'm done with 50 pages already. Normally this is where I get bored and leave the book and wait for the movie (which is what happened with The Da Vinci Code, Eat Pray Love and many others). But, with this book I feel like I'm just getting started. I think I have a crush on Tina Fey. She's so weird and loveable. I prefer referring to her as lemon. And that's not just because I love referring to people who I love with fruit names. 

I read all about her weird childhood and the moment she realised she went from girl to woman (which in her case was some guy saying 'nice tits'). I was thinking about when I had my life changing moment. Couldn't think of one.

I hit page 50 and my eyelids collapsed like the shutters that go down on the few stores that are open on a Sunday afternoon. I felt drugged. The ajinomoto gave me some amazing sleep and then I woke up to watch the Wimbledon finals - Djoko (who ate some grass from the court when he won) vs. Nadal (who's famous for pulling his underwear out of his butt). Two little monkeys who I seem to love equally. Now I know what my mother feels when she says she loves both her daughters equally which I always thought was a lie.

So much love on this wonderful Sunday.

I'll leave you with a love song I heard yesterday which hasn't stopped playing in my head.

And I don't even want to press the stop button.

Shake that biscuit baby! Shake it for me.