Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Forbidden Fruit

Every morning when I open the newspaper (the entertainment section ofcourse), I read many articles about how great Indian cinema is. And about how much coverage our Indian actors are getting at the Cannes Film Festival. And how A-list Hollywood actors want to be a part of Bollywood movies now.
When I read such articles, I can't help but think, do we live in our very own Indian bubble?

To be honest, I don't think we make great films. There are a few that are good or some that can be watched once maybe. Most are made for the masses and these crowd pullers are usually slapstick or made with the sense of humour of a 5 year old.

Then the other day while having one of the most random conversations with a friend, I reached the conclusion that as strange as our films may be, no other film industry has the imagination and creativity that we have.

This was how my conversation went:
Friend: I love eating this asian mango and sticky rice dessert.
Me: Rice is main course. Not dessert.
Friend: No you must try it. It's really good.
Me: Ok, mail me some.
Friend: I'm just sending it.
Me: Fedex?
Friend: No. With a dove. Fedex is so old fashioned.
Me: A bird?
[I am not a fan of birds in general and the one time I tried to feed grains to pigeons, they scratched me and made me cry and that was the end of that friendship.]

So while my friend (who is American) was trying to show me the ways of the 21st Century, I showed him this.

Yes, our Bollywood filmmakers always thought ahead and out of the box.
We used birds as delivery boys back in the 80's.
I was 4 years old when Maine Pyar Kiya was released. At that age all I did was just stare at the screen, so for me it was as good as watching He-Man.

And then when I watched the video a few days ago to prove a point to my friend, I was thoroughly amused by the ridiculousness of the imagination of Sooraj Barjatya.

These were my observations:
> The bird (white pigeon) is used as a messenger to deliver Bhagyashree's first love letter to Salman Khan.
> The bird then flies out of the window and directly into the backseat of the car. This is because:
- The bird is not a plane with an in-built GPS system and doesn't know directions in the sky.
- The bird is crazy lazy.
> The bird reaches the party sitting in the car while Bhagyashree puts on some jewelry, prays to God and sets the table for dinner.
> The bird continues to be lazy and finds his way around the party while being carried around by a waiter along with a tray full of cold drinks.
> Kabutar finally delivers the letter to Salman Khan.
> Salman gets excited on reading it and spends the day laying on the grass while kabutar has a little drink.
> He then suddenly drives back to his palatial home like Schumacher where Bhagyashree has been waiting for him in the balcony surrounded by tacky flashing Neon lights that say ice-cream (which are used to add drama to the scene?).
> Kabutar finally uses it's wings and decides to fly back home and inform Bhagyashree that Salman is on his way.
> Salman reaches home and greets his lady love with open arms.
> She goes running to him and greets him with a 'passionate hug' in true 80's style.
> The next day they are in a garden and Kabutar keeps making an appearance from time to time. Suddenly they are surrounded by apples.

Yes, apples.
Was it set decoration of the 80s?
Was Bhagyashree hungry?
Was it Salman's way of saying How do you like them apples?
Or was it just the forbidden fruit?

I think it was Sooraj Barjatya's way of showing 'an expression of love' back in the day when Emraan Hashmi was still a child.

This made me realise that as bad as his movies were, Sooraj Barjatya did start a trend. 
A trend carried on by the makers of Desperate Housewives in their opening credits.

Adam & Eve by Lucas Cranach.
When in doubt, look to the Bible for creative inspiration.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

A birthday wish

via Pinterest.
Today as I turn Twenty- something, I wonder

What do I want in life?

Now if I told you, it may not come true right?

So here I am taking a big risk...
Right now, I'm wishing for a good day with some good chocolatty cake and a nice cold Mango milkshake.
And nice gifts because I am a greedy little child.

And World Peace.

Just to make me look a little unselfish.

Have a great day!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Teux Deux

I have always loved making to-do lists.
I can almost call it a hobby.

I love writing lists so much that I not only make them for myself but for my family too.
I don't know how much they love it.
I think not very much.
So I put sweet little notes at the bottom of the list that end with 'Love, Neha' and a :)

If you walk around my house you will see to-do lists floating around everywhere.
> on the fridge.
> in my diary.
> on little pieces of paper.
> my hand.
> and in the reminder section on my phone.

I'd create a sort of mess while organising.
Till I came across this website called TeuxDeux and it was just the most perfect to-do list I had ever seen.
I downloaded the iPhone App for only $2.99 and now my teuxdeux list from my computer syncs with the one on my phone.
It's so amazing that I almost feel like it's been created just for me.

But even with the awesomeness of it, my work to-do lists are still on post-its for some reason.
For everything else there's TeuxDeux.
Click here to view the happenings of my busy week.

On TeuxDeux 
You can write out your lists.
Strike them out once completed.
Or delete them.
And when you don't finish a task, it automatically moves on to the next day.
So easy peasy.

And the best part - There's also a section called Someday.
Someday is what I like to call the 'Procrastinator's Section'.
For all those things we want to do but havent fixed a day for it yet.
And it's got 5 columns. Good enough for me!

I'd recommend it for anyone who likes making lists and also for anyone who doesn't.

Because crossing things off a list is sometimes as satisfying as eating a bar of chocolate.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day

When I was in Kindergarten, this is the prayer we were taught to say every morning:

Thank you God for the World so sweet
Thank you God for the food we eat
Thank you God for the birds that sing
Thank you God for everything.

For me these words apply not only to God but also to my mother.
Especially the part about the food we eat.

I know there are days (everyday) when I seem like I'm ignoring my mother when she is speaking to me, but the fact of the matter is sometimes we just don't hear our mothers over the sound of the TV or because we have been hypnotized with the light from our phones.

And most of the time all I hear is When? What? Neha are you listening? Why?

via Pinterest.
To solve our communication problem, I decided to take a little help from Snoop Dogg.
I hope this answers atleast one of your questions.

To all the mothers everywhere,
Happy Mother's Day!

And to my wonderful mother,
Love you.

Thursday, May 3, 2012


I'd love to go backpacking.
Right about NOW.
But I don't own a backpack.
So am I not allowed?

I know suitcases just don't have that cool, young, bohemian effect which adds to the whole backpacking experience.
Their rectangular shape just kills the coolness.

But, I just can't get myself to buy one.
I can't imagine carrying my bag on my back because:
> I sit 12 hours a day at the computer and this would only worsen my back problems.
> I am not a cow/ horse/ donkey.
> I am lazy and I like to drag my bag on wheels.

Also, with everything piled up together wouldn't I need to unpack every time I need to find one item?
And won't my clothes get completely crushed?
I have a very mild version of OCD and folding my clothes like this makes me happy.

Looks like I'll be suitcase-ing for the rest of my life.

Incase the Japanese shirt folding video was too quick, here's another video in English for you slow learners. Personally I prefer the Japanese video. It's more challenging!
Yes, this is how my weekends get more adventurous.
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