Thursday, January 31, 2013

Word of the day

I just downloaded a new App on my phone through another App.
Am I an App junkie?
Because I feel like the Lindsay Lohan of Apps.

So, the first App I was talking about is AppGratis.
My friend told me about it and it's pretty amazing.
They give you a deal a day - a paid app that you can download for free but just for that day.
So I downloaded App No.2 which is CultiWords.
This teaches you new words.
And I'm obsessed with learning new words and their pronunciations.
It's almost like a hobby.
I think it's time Merriam Webster got upgraded to my Bookmarks Bar.
But it's not even like I use these words in conversation.
It's just to activate a few more cells in my brain.
They say we use only 10% of our brain. And Einstein used about 20% maybe?
So I'm aiming for about 15%.
Or maybe that's all rubbish and it's just that some lobe of his brain was wider.

Like every morning I woke up and opened my Cultiwords App.
Today's word was harbinger.
Now harbinger is not a 'big word' and I already knew of it but it was fun to relearn it.
But everytime I think of it, I think of how it could be someones first name.
Which ofcourse would be followed by a last name like Singh.
What do you think?

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Anything Makers

I am a big fan of creative people - musicians, writers, artists.
I call them Anything Makers.

Those who see beauty in everything.
And those who create it.

Here's an amazing video that I came across while browsing yesterday.

What can I say?
It made my day.

If you love stop motion, papercrafts and happy music you'll love it too.

It's a music video for Katachi - a song by Shugo Tokumaru.
And if you love the song as much as I do, you can buy it here for just $0.99.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Old. New. Borrowed. Blue.

This is what I did on this long weekend:

I cleaned out a lot of old stuff.
I love cleaning. I have a talent for making switchboards spotless.

I watched a new indie film.
And then I wished I hadn't.

borrowed the DVD of Salmon Fishing in the Yemen.
From the DVD library down my road.

And I painted my bathroom wall Blue.
For a while I felt happy thinking that my painting arm (the right one) had lost some weight and was now equal to my left arm.
And then I realized it's still fat.

Something Old
Something New
Something Borrowed
And something Blue
It almost seemed obvious that there must be a wedding.

And ofcourse there was!

Photo by me.
I ended my weekend by attending a wedding.
It was so beautiful. And the full moon only added to the beauty.
Great food. Live music. And so many unnecessary details that only few would notice - love it when people care.
And watching people who looked so in love with each other.

What's not to love?

Saturday, January 26, 2013


Ever since I wrote my last post about sneezing and philtrums I've become obsessed with philtrums.

So if you meet me soon I'll probably not be listening to a word you say and channeling my inner face reader and figuring out who you really are through your philtrum.

Not to worry I was only kidding.
I'm not even that strange.

But it got me thinking about Joaquin Phoenix.
I have always wondered about his scar which infact is a mild form of cleft lip.

When a baby is still in the mother's womb, the two sides of the face form separately and are joined together in the end at the philtrum - which is the last part of the face to get formed.
And when the two sides of the face fail to fuse together properly, a cleft lip is formed.
I had seen it on the Discovery Channel a long time ago and it is quite fascinating.

Clearly I could now write medical journals.

But that's not what's weird about Joaquin Phoenix.
I wikied him and learnt a whole lot about him.
Firstly I love the sound of his name.
Joaquin. Joaquiiiin. I could say it all day.
It would really help me exercise my facial muscles.
Try it.

Then did you know that his actual surname is Bottom?
His family changed it to Phoenix to mark a new beginning when they left the Children of God cult in South America and moved back to the States.
His siblings all have names from nature.
River. Rain. And Summer.
Which made him want to call himself Leaf.
Yes, leaf.
Because he liked raking leaves.
Firstly who likes raking leaves?
And secondly who names themselves leaf because of it?
Luckily Joaquin changed it back to Joaquin (I can keep saying it. My skin's already looking better) at age 15 when he stopped liking raking leaves?
I don't know.
It's just so complicated.
And only a name.

Joaquin is the Spanish version of the Hebrew name Joachim.
Saint Joachim was the father of Mother Mary.

I love how wikipedia leads you to such interesting information when you are only reading about an actor and his philtrum.

Now back to the face exercising.


Try it.

You sort of look like you're doing Lamaze breathing but so what.

Friday, January 25, 2013

For all you sneezies

It's winter.
It's cold outside.
It's cold inside.
My feet are frozen.
It's only Bombay so noone takes me seriously.

I've managed to escape it while being wrapped up like an eskimo.
And everyone's sneezing. Eeks.
And sneezing = germs.

I am a certified germaphobe.
And I'm not afraid to wear that badge with pride.

You'll never catch me leaning in an elevator.
Resting my elbows on a dirty table.
I wrap myself in tissue before touching anything in a public restroom.
I will never touch an insect.
Or walk around with shoes in my house.
Or sit on the bed without washing my feet.

Half my family thinks I'm crazy.
And the other half is just like me.

Germs. Bacteria. Mold. Eeks for all.
Scientists say that if it weren't for bacteria the world wouldn't exist. Whatever!
Eeks again.
And yet I still love my blue cheese - the blue being mold.

[On a sidenote:
I always say I could never marry a man who smokes.
But as they say - Never say never.
Or could one man who smokes be the exception to the rule?
Could he be the mold on the blue cheese?]

Getting back to the point - besides Blue Cheese and the occasional smoker, I hate germs.
(Does that sentence even make sense?)

They make you sick.
They make you sneeze.
That's not fun.
And people are continuously saying God Bless You.
Do you know why?
Because legend has it that your heart stops beating everytime you sneeze.
So saying those 3 magical words will ensure that your heart continues beating and you keep living.

Excuse Me by Karen Katz

So incase you want to ensure continuous beating of your heart, here's a tip to help you get through this weather without sneezing.
Hold your finger on your philtrum* and press down.
My friend taught me this.
I don't know if he made it up but it seems to work for me.

May your days be sneezeless and bright!
And may all your Christmases be white.


* The vertical groove in the centre between the nose and upper lip.
The word originates from the Greek term meaning 'love potion'.
Ancient Romans found it erotic.
In Jewish mythology it is believed that an angel strikes a newborn on the upperlip before birth to erase all that he knew as a soul, thus creating the philtrum.
And in science, the philtrum is what joins the 2 sides of the face that grow independently in the womb.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Hug me do

Hug, hug me do.
You know I love you.
I'll always be true.
So ple-ee-ee-eease, hug me do.

I'm sure some of the Beatles were rolling in their graves as I wrote those words.
But that's what I'd like to sing to my bed every night.

To be honest I'm not much of a people hugger.
Unless I've had some help from a glass of fermented grape.

Or a tree hugger.
Ok, for that I'd probably need more than one glass.

Well, I feel uncomfotable bumping chests with people I'm not so familiar with.
And the fermented grape doesn't make me want to either.
It just helps ease the discomfort.

I can only hug someone I truly love/ like a lot.
Or if I meet someone after a very very long time.
Is that weird?

Most of my friends think I'm crazy and have a laugh everytime they see me hug someone.
Because what I do is more of a shoulder bump coupled with a pat on the back to make up for the weirdness of it all.
Call me crazy but it's true.

And I prefer being the huggee and not the hugger.
Like a spoonee and not a spooner.

Get the drift?

If you are a strange creation of God just like me, take my advice.

Head over to a Tempur showroom.
Buy yourself a Tempur bed, pillow and other bed accessories you don't need if you have shit loads of money.
If you don't have money growing from the money plant (like I thought I did when I was a whole lot younger), enjoy the Demo. It's free.

That bed is the boyfriend you never had.
It will wrap its expensive memory foamy arms around you and make you feel oh so loved.
It will make you smile.
And it will make you sing Hug me do.

And to add to the outer world experience, they have pillows too.
At 10 grand a pop.
Or you can buy it's evil twin for 3 at Portico.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

The importance of sleep

In my last post I wrote about how I wake up at 630 am only twice a year.
I lied.
Well, I didn't lie really.

I wrote the truth.
And karmas a bitch.

I woke up this morning at 630 am and went for the Mumbai Marathon.

No silly, I didn't run.

So why did I go?
That's a good question.

I entered an Instagram contest.
A lot of hashtagging later I won a lomo camera.
And a pass to the Marathon.


All the yayying later.
I had the world's worst headache.
And I got sick.
And got a sty for half a day.

This is what happens when you show off about waking up only twice a year at 630 am.
That too out of choice.
And getting 8 magnificent hours of sleep the rest of the year.

Moral: Always choose sleep. And don't tell others about it.

All photos by me.

Friday, January 18, 2013

The Globes

Don't you just love the Globes?
I wake up at 630 am only twice a year.
For the Golden Globes and the Oscars.
With the time difference et al we Indians have to suffer the task of setting our alarm to that unearthly hour. But I do it. And with no complaints. And without hitting the snooze button even once.
This year it just happened to slip my sleepy mind.
And I even forgot to catch the re-run at 9 pm.
I could have cried.
But alas! I had Tata Sky + and could magically record it the next time it was on TV.
And so I only managed to watch it today. 4 whole days later.
There was no Red carpet bit. But I caught the rest of the show and it was fantabulous as always.
The energy that fills that room seems so electric.
I wish I could be there some day.
My childhood dream was to watch Oprah Live but now ever since she lost that zing I've replaced that dream with this one/ watching the Oscars/ well, there's a long list.
Watching the show even days later was so worth it.
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler had me in splits with their special flavour of humour. Let's just call it shamelessness.
Jodie Foster's speech gave me a lump in my throat which somehow helped keep my tears hidden behind my eyeballs.
I loved how Ben Affleck used his wife Jennifer Garner to complete his Thank you speech when she went on stage to present another award.
And why was Lena Dunham walking like a penguin-robot in her gown? Ok I'm just being mean because she's amazing and I'm jealous. So much talent and she's only 26!
I couldn't get enough of the Americans saying Les Mi-say-rrraa-bluh in the most Frenchified* accent they could pull off.
SNL's Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig were so mad-funny. I could just keep replaying it and laugh again.
Was Jennifer Lopez wearing a dress or was that just body glitter?
Arnold Shwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone presenting for Foreign Language film in what sounded like a foreign language.
Claire Danes, Megan Fox and Jessica Alba - new mothers who are thinner than me. FML!

And Adele. Oh Adele! Love how she said Aw ma goddd at the start of her speech.
Leo DiCaprio - Always a nominee. Never a winner.
Meryl Streep - Always a winner. But suddenly just a nominee. Who mysteriously got the flu.
Bill Clinton being introduced as Hillary's husband.
And then there was the fun part of taking mental notes of who I think are lookalikes.
- Jodie Foster and Helen Hunt
- Glenn Close and flu stricken Meryl Streep who didn't make it.
- Emily Blunt and Zooey Deschanel minus the bangs.
- Jessica Lange and Sigourney Weaver
- Dame Maggie Smith and Holland Taylor
- Daniel Craig and Jeremy Renner
- Jeremy Irons and Daniel Day Lewis
And then there were a lot of fun trailers too.
I have a long list of movies to watch now. And Silver Linings Playbook seems to be topping the list.
What can I say. I just love the Globes.
And the regular one I had on my desk when I was a child.
Ok it wasn't so regular.
It was lit from within.
And I don't mean that metaphorically but literally.
* made it sound as close to French as possible.
Different from french fries.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Clap clap

I often think about random things.
Like would a rose by any other name smell just as sweet?

Ok I was joking about the rose.

But have you ever wondered about whether a Comedy show on TV would be as funny without the Applause?


I know it's hard to laugh these days with all the fun words being muted on Indian Television.

Oh well!

But do they need to signal us?

It's like they're telling you when you should laugh.

And you laugh like a robot.

Is that weird?

How do we undo the programming?

I for one am going to consciously not laugh the next time I'm watching TV and if it's actually that funny, I'll probably not be able to contain it right?

Not a good way to test the theory?

Any better ideas?

Sunday, January 13, 2013

The colour craze

Underwater ink photography by Alberto Seveso
Have you noticed how nowadays noone uses simple colour names anymore.

Now all I hear is






What is rose? Pink? Red? White? Yellow?

And these people who use these unnecessary new names aren't even designers.
When did the common man get so fancy?
And so complex.
And why is everything the new black?

Is it normal for everyone to know the colour of the blood of an ox?
Well, I'd just call it Maroon.
Or Wine when I'm trying to sound fancy.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Something to remember

I was thinking of my father just today.
Like I do the other 364 days of the year. 365 in a leap year.

Most things remind me of him. Sometimes it's TV shows, sometimes it's finding a cool new gadget, and sometimes it's enjoying a cold beer on a hot day.

He gave the World's best advice.
And always said the right things. Even when some of it sounded very wrong.

But something that always stuck in my head was this:

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

And then today I realized that my dad totally stole the line from Thumper's dad.

But I still love it.

Thanks SwissMiss. It was like finding a buried treasure!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

True Love

What is true love?
Well, for me it's the beautiful glittery stuff you see in the movies.
That kind of unconditional love is so hard to give at times.
Except when you find that special someone for whom it pours out of you like a perennial waterfall.

I usually find it easy to love animals in this way.
And I can never understand people who don't.

Since I was a little girl, I've always wanted a dog.
Though I think at that young age I probably just wanted a horse that would suit my height.
Or even an Oompa Loompa would've kept me happy.
But I never had a pet of my own.
And that made me a little sad.

Design by Gemma Correll
The years went by like passing trains.
And in that time I bonded with many little dogs - some that belonged to friends and some that lived in my neighbourhood.
We played, talked about life and I cried when they left me.

And then last month I went to a dog adoption drive.
I played with all the puppies and almost took one home.
He was tiny and black and white and his name was Oreo for obvious reasons.
I could imagine him looking pretty at breakfast next to a cup of milk.
Don't worry, I wasn't going to eat him.
His cuteness just made my heart melt.
But I realized I didn't have it in me to give that glittery part of my heart away just as yet.
It was a combination of the fear of commitment, responsibility and attachment.
Oh well!
But for those brave enough, here's one of life's simple truths:

A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. 
Give him your heart and he will give you his.
- Marley & Me (2008).

Hope you have a beautiful and glittery day!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Things I have learned from movies

Book by Stefan Sagmeister. Photo by me.

Your foot is as big as your arm from your elbow to your wrist - Pretty Woman (1990)

With great power comes great responsibility - Spiderman (2002)

If you are going to eat pie, you'd rather pass on a la mode. Ice cream weakens the legs - Knight and Day (2010)

Vampires don't fry in the sunlight but shine bright like a diamond - Twilight (2008)

If you leave the shutter open long enough but you stand still, everything in the picture will blur except you - A Lot like Love (2005)

I is kind, I is smart, I is important - The Help (2011)

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Words to live by

These are a few words that I enjoyed reading. I hope it makes you smile/ chuckle/ changes your life.

Something everyone tells you but you never take seriously.
And something you ought to know but have maybe forgotten.
Some hope:
Something I've learned from experience:
Don't forget :
And always remember:

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year

You probably spent last night out with friends and lots of drunk people from whom you wanted to stay at a puke-free distance from. Am I right? 

And now it's that time of the year again to make some good resolutions.

Here are a few of mine:

- To tickle the ivories.

- Get lost in someplace amazing.

- Take a hike (just kidding).

- Shake a leg every now and then. 

- Maybe even both at the same time.

- And be able to twist like a pretzel again.

What about you? Anything you want to change in your life in 2013?

I wish you all the strength to stick to your resolutions.
And if you have trouble coming up with them, here's some help.

Be happy. Stay healthy. Be generous
And go for it!

Happy New Year!
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