Friday, January 25, 2013

For all you sneezies

It's winter.
It's cold outside.
It's cold inside.
My feet are frozen.
It's only Bombay so noone takes me seriously.

I've managed to escape it while being wrapped up like an eskimo.
And everyone's sneezing. Eeks.
And sneezing = germs.

I am a certified germaphobe.
And I'm not afraid to wear that badge with pride.

You'll never catch me leaning in an elevator.
Resting my elbows on a dirty table.
I wrap myself in tissue before touching anything in a public restroom.
I will never touch an insect.
Or walk around with shoes in my house.
Or sit on the bed without washing my feet.

Half my family thinks I'm crazy.
And the other half is just like me.

Germs. Bacteria. Mold. Eeks for all.
Scientists say that if it weren't for bacteria the world wouldn't exist. Whatever!
Eeks again.
And yet I still love my blue cheese - the blue being mold.

[On a sidenote:
I always say I could never marry a man who smokes.
But as they say - Never say never.
Or could one man who smokes be the exception to the rule?
Could he be the mold on the blue cheese?]

Getting back to the point - besides Blue Cheese and the occasional smoker, I hate germs.
(Does that sentence even make sense?)

They make you sick.
They make you sneeze.
That's not fun.
And people are continuously saying God Bless You.
Do you know why?
Because legend has it that your heart stops beating everytime you sneeze.
So saying those 3 magical words will ensure that your heart continues beating and you keep living.

Excuse Me by Karen Katz

So incase you want to ensure continuous beating of your heart, here's a tip to help you get through this weather without sneezing.
Hold your finger on your philtrum* and press down.
My friend taught me this.
I don't know if he made it up but it seems to work for me.

May your days be sneezeless and bright!
And may all your Christmases be white.


* The vertical groove in the centre between the nose and upper lip.
The word originates from the Greek term meaning 'love potion'.
Ancient Romans found it erotic.
In Jewish mythology it is believed that an angel strikes a newborn on the upperlip before birth to erase all that he knew as a soul, thus creating the philtrum.
And in science, the philtrum is what joins the 2 sides of the face that grow independently in the womb.

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...