Friday, June 25, 2010

Bubble full of thoughts

by Zara Picken
I've been wondering about a lot of things lately.

Not just the general stuff like Who is God and If there is a magic mirror that reflects the same thing that's going on in our universe but maybe in an animated version on the other side?

I have been wondering about why my friends who I believed were so loyal are now reading other blogs. Traitors! One is reading about someone in Spain. How blah! The other is reading about food. Double blaah! Another accidently started reading a blog by a Neha Kamat (so not the same without the h in the end) and another has started his own blog. What is going on? Seriously!

Today I feel like a bubble. A bubble full of thoughts aka a thought bubble. Making any sense?

Here's some stuff I've been wondering about. Some of it I'll probably never have answers for.
  • Will I ever be done eating God's own fruit, The Mango? (Even after Katrina tarnished its image in the Slice 'Aam Sutra' ad with the mango juice falling on her botoxed lips.)
  • Will I ever be good enough for So you think you can dance? If I make the cut will I with my Indian upbringing be able to show my underwear while I dance every week till I get voted off or win?
  • Will I ever learn to tighten my abs without just taking a deep breath? I still can't figure out how people do it.
  • Why all girls find the need to dance like Shakira when her songs are played. Hip/ salsa movements for Hips don't lie and shoulder - chest movements for Waka Waka.
  • Why they bother making non-waterproof bandaids.
  • Why they advertise for ENO in pineapple flavour on TV. Really Why?
  • When Justin Beiber's voice will crack.
  • If having a haircut is really the best way to kill boredom.
  • How cows give enough milk for people all over the world to drink. Are there so many cows? Are they in hiding? How do they do it? Aku explained that its just their job like how she goes to the bank everyday. So that clears that up.
  • How anyone can tweet. How do you say anything in 140 characters? To add to that now people have begun to talk about stuff like Tweetiquette. That's just adding to the pressure.
  • Why people say I was so inspired by blah blah when they just copied blah blah. 
  • Do I have a type? I've had all of 2 boyfriends and all they had in common was their optician. So need to figure out my type so I can focus my energy on those boys and get to know/stalk them. (Notice how I said boys and not men. Yes I am still so so young.)
  • Why the prettiest tops at Mango are so transparent. If I wore any of them calling me a tease would be an understatement.
  • Why people wear buttons when there's elastic everything. I think its time someone designed a restaurant line instead of resort/ swimwear collections. I need stretchy clothes when I go eat at restaurants.
  • How anyone can eat pineapple and ham sandwiches. It sounds nearly as bad as peanut butter and jam. Is that meant to be a fusion snack? My idea of fusion food is papad and cheese. Actually I'll eat anything with cheese on it.
  • Why noone but me thinks that I have so much musical talent. I can hum song tunes so well that you'd think you're listening to Miles Davis. I also don't yawn. I Yanni. And I like to call myself a snorprano cause I think I snore like a Soprano.
  • If I buy an HCL computer will I get a Mr. HCL to run errands for me?
  • Why I get so influenced by advertising. I have watched many of those 30 minutes commercials by Guthy Renker more than once. 
I have bought ProActiv even though I have clear skin but I would recommend it for those who need it. I have used it for spot treatment once. Works better than toothpaste.
I also bought Sheer Cover. This ones really good. I only put some makeup on for weddings so have used it once this year for the one wedding that I have attended. And even though I didn't go for a 40 minute jog at the wedding, my makeup was still intact as promised.
I think I buy it cause its not 6999. And no, it's not even 5999. Or 4999. But for the reduced price of only 3999 for the first 500 callers. And I fall for that. Dammit!
I luckily didn't buy Zumba fitness though it looked like a lot of fun. Aku stopped me in time.
And Mallika informed me about the bad reviews that Meaningful Beauty got so I guess I'm not falling for what Cindy Crawford and Dr. Sebagh (of Paris) had to say.
  • If I sleep for 24 hours will I get white circles around my eyes?
  • Why a walnut disturbingly looks like a brain.
  • Why chemists & wine shops sell you stuff in black plastic bags like you're buying something that's illegal.
  • If my little experiment of taking pictures through a door viewer is ever going to be anything like taking pictures through a fish-eye lens.
  • Why someone was stupid enough to invent vodka eyeballing.
  • If I will ever teach English in Japan.
  • Why Pooja Bedi decided to pull a Marilyn in Pehla Nasha in Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar.
  • Why Movie stars don't finish doing all their plastic surgery before their first movie. It just makes it too obvious. And then they deny it. Shruti Hasan atleast admitted to the nose job. Bravo! But then it was because of a deviated septum. Who are you kidding?
  • If Nigella Lawson is famous for her boobs or her 'mixing from the tins' recipes.
  • Why Bollywood stars put on an American accent after becoming famous. And maybe even a British accent if they're on BBC.
  • If the 5 second rule of eating food within 5 seconds from falling on the floor applies to all surfaces.
  • And lastly, Why don't I get paid to do this?
Hoping to find some answers this weekend along with some R & R. 

Carpe Diem! (Cause I wanted to end in Latin)

Saturday, June 19, 2010

(Don't) show me the Mani

I'm back. Back to normal. That's if I ever was normal to begin with. Feel great. I guess I can now stop googling all my symptoms like I always do everytime I feel ill. According to me I've nearly had everything from appendicitis to gout more than once.

Watched Raavan last evening so will dedicate this blog to tearing it apart since that's pretty much what it did to my evening. Don't worry, I won't ramble on like I usually do. Will make it quick and painless somewhat like taking off a bandaid.

So, Raavan was an adaptation of Ramayan. Now if you see the basic story of Ramayan there isn't that much to it (according to me atleast). Raavan kidnaps Sita who is finally saved by her husband Ram with the help of his brother Laxman and Hanuman. Raavan dies. Sita goes back to Ram who thinking she isn't 'pure' anymore after having spent some time with Raavan, makes her go through the Agni Pareeksha which she even passes and still he isn't able to take her back. Just not a good story like many of the fairytales we were told as kids. Good is not pretty and bad is not ugly (like in Cinderella, the Ugly Duckling etc).

In today's day and age no woman would put up with an Agni Pareeksha and I think India is screwed up enough anyway as a country with male dominance etc and people expecting purity tests before marriage to the extent that the hymenoplasty was invented. For this reason, I was hoping Mani Ratnam would change the story around and so I really hoped for a twist in the end thinking that might actually save it but unfortunately that did not happen.

The movie has been shot beautifully. Each frame looks like one of Monet's canvases. Aishwarya truly looks like a Botticelli angel. That's about all thats good about the film. Abhishek looks like a monkey. No wait, that's Govinda. Luckily his role is smaller so let's just give Abhishek the title. He makes funny sounds through the film, trying to pull a 'Joker' type character which comes off as somewhat neurotic. The only good thing was that both characters, that of 'Ram' and 'Raavan' had shades of grey and had equal amounts of good and bad in them making the audience not directly side with the good guy. Nothing else is even worth mentioning. Not even A R Rahman's music. This was definitely Mani Ratnam's 'What's your Rashee' moment. He totally killed it (in a bad way) when 'Ram' asks 'Sita' to take the polygraph test (his version of the Agni Pareeksha).

I'd give it a 3 on 10 for basically having no story besides the basic one of the Ramayan. 

Also, I didn't understand why they found the constant need to apply mud on their faces. I'm pretty sure it wasn't shot near the Dead Sea so don't think they'd make very good face packs.

Here's a more interesting version of the Ramayan.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Television in the time of (well, not cholera)

Hello again. How goes it? Not so good for me. Been ill this week. Probably cause I'm too lazy to drink water which ends up always giving me a truckload of problems every now and then. So been spending my time watching Magic shows on tv while sipping on a tall glass of Electral. Is it salty? Or sweet? Its like a dilemma in my mouth. The amount that I've had of it, I could start drinking it like Wine - take in the delicate aroma, swirl it and drink. Now that's not what I actually do cause I think I'd look a bit funny. But, maybe someday I'll do the whole act followed by 'Oh, what an interesting bouquet!'

With the illness I've been pretty weak. Not been able to move around much. So positioned myself in front of the TV for 2 whole days. Poor me! What a tough life I do lead. 
Surprisingly not watched even one match in the World Cup yet. Not really a football fan but I'm sure it would be fun to watch. Maybe it's time to get ESPN especially if Shakira's going to Waka Waka at the closing ceremony. Unfortunately, we don't subscribe to the sports package since we are 4 women at home who mainly end up watching chick flicks, game shows, cooking and detective shows.

But, what fascinates me most of all are reality shows. I love watching them to see just how far people will go for money. I'll watch anything at all. Stuff that usually freaks me out suddenly becomes a great dinner time tv show. Like Fear Factor. They could be eating worms or be covered with mice and I could be enjoying a plate full of noodles and even have a smile on my face.

The last 2 days I focused all my energy on Magic shows after which it was the Nancy drew movie, after which it was Grey's Anatomy and Castle
McDreamy nearly died and so did Nikki Heat. Drama drama drama! I watched both shows from 10 pm to 11 pm last night. Don't ask how. It takes some real talent. You have to keep switching channels in the break and take important decisions like which portions of the show can be skipped. Phew! (That's a word I always feel like saying but I could never actually say it since it sounds very funny).

Anyway yesterday was sort of recovery day so celebrated that by getting myself a new pair of running shoes even though I can't remember the last time I ran. I got a cool black pair from Adidas which I think give me a serious and dangerous look. While deciding whether to buy them I kept wondering whether I look too dangerous and like I'm planning on robbing a bank since all I was going for was a 'don't mess with me' look while walking/ running. I nearly didn't buy them cause I couldn't stand thinking of having to come home and get rid of my 8 yr old pair which is coming apart for the 2nd time. My mom wasn't going to let me get it stuck back at Bata like the last time. Anyway my new shoes happen to look like a twin of the old pair so I think I'll get over it soon. Will be taking my new pair of shoes out of the cardboard box now and then bury the old one in it. Sob sob. I think it deserves a ceremony.


Going for Raavan this evening. Will write a review when I'm bored.


In other news, I just read my weekly bpb newsletter. So, a Cinnabon has opened 2 minutes away from home. Is someone trying to test/torture me? I just thought maybe, just maybe with the new shoes I may go for a walk this evening and now when I step outside and get to the end of my road the question is... Do I take a right turn and go for a walk? Or do I take a left turn and go to Cinnabon??
Or I could walk to Cinnabon and maintain the balance of the universe.

Bpb also informed me about a new Chocolate Tasting Club. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

I think its time to unsubscribe.

PS: The line across the blogpost is to divide my article, the way Shobha De does with her articles but with bullet points. It looks pretty silly right?

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Wax On, Wax Off

Its been raining pretty much all the time. I just realized that I really don't like rain. I used to think that I liked it while I sat at home but now I don't even like that. First there’s the constant change in temperature and then there's too much moisture on everything from the TV to the furniture to even my skin. Eeks! The only good thing is that it would probably be a good excuse to get myself a pair of gumboots.

I have carefully sorted my thoughts about what I feel about rain and have decided not to like it. If it were my friend on facebook, it would be deleted. Then again I have deactivated my account. I’m glad I left it when I did. I had started noticing how I’d recognize people wherever I’d go and later realize that I only know them from facebook through pictures of someone I probably stalked.

Anyway getting back to the point, I have realized that I also now don't understand people who like rain. 
No, its not fun getting wet in the rain.
No, I don't suddenly like the smell of mud. (How pretentious!)
No, everything's not become green in one day. The rain has just washed off the dust from the leaves.
And no, I don't feel the sudden urge to eat hot pakodas or drink chai.
Also, Tata Sky sucks in this season.

So, with no Tata Sky, I finally watched Shutter Island on my computer. I had no clue what it was about. The fact that it had Leo DiCaprio sold it to me. Good movie but, pretty disturbing. But a good one time watch.

I have a huge list of movies to watch. I actually have a word document cause I'm that anal about being organized that I have a file called ‘movies to watch.docx’ in my folder that I keep updating. Don't know what I’ll watch next. Maybe Breakfast at Tiffany's again or Juno.

Been contemplating whether to watch the new Karate Kid movie with Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith. I don't know if I'm the only one who noticed but Jaden has man muscles which is just so odd since he must be barely 10 years old. Plus, I'd feel like I'm cheating on Mr. Miyagi and Daniel San.

For the past week I have been on a new non-fruit diet. By fruit I mean grape of the bottled variety. Needed a good break from the 2 drinks on the weekends. That’s about how bad it gets. Since then I have gone crazy with font downloads. Yes, font downloads. Withdrawal symptoms maybe? Read an article by Rajneesh (Osho) the other day in Bombay Times which was probably taken from his book. Was hoping it will help me get through these tough times (without bottled grape). Haha. Noticed a lot of repetition in the article. I guess that’s how it makes sense and seems to have an impact. I am not impressed.

Trying to focus my energies on healing of my body and mind. Or am I still too young for that?

Anyway I need to start somewhere. I quit yoga. Don't know how much tennis I can play in the rain.

Maybe I'll just try 'Wax on. Wax Off' a la Mr. Miyagi or Waka Waka my way through the day.

Today's featured picture

Picture titled 'Man in straw hat standing on Buddhist idol at ruins of Borobudur'.

Is this meant to be a cool art photo taken for a magazine or something shot by someone on a holiday just for fun? I don't quite know what to make of it. Please decode.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

To the M_ _ _ and back.

My life does seem pretty out of this world these days but did I go To the Moon and back? The answer is No. I'm not Neil Armstrong nor are my arms strong enough to catapult me into space.

My blog title was to be 'To the Mall and back' actually but then that makes me sound like such a boring girl so thought I'd spice it up with the blank spots left to keep you guessing.

I've practically been living in Lower Parel off late. Phoenix and Raghuvanshi mills have become my second home. I go there via Tulsi pipe road which has some pretty bad graffiti on it. Seriously. But just while taking the turn to go to Phoenix mills theres a drawing that shows a girl jumping into a bottle aptly titled BevD- what I'd like to call my alter ego usually seen on weekends.

Love the home stores at Raghuvanshi Mills. I love to decorate spaces. It just gives me so much happiness. I guess that's cause that's not my job and doesn't involve money. I have this plan of just moving into Good Earth someday with my bag and baggage. I'd obviously sleep for most of the day in the comfy white bed upstairs. Maybe go eat breakfast in their colourful plates, even use the toast holder, cause who doesn't love their toast standing perpendicular to the table in a fancy holder? I'd obviously eat the more important meals upstairs and by important I mean dessert. Their Baileys chocolate mousse cake makes you feel more loved than a man could ever make you feel. Oh such happy thoughts!

But, whats suddenly become a pretty exciting place to hang out at is Palladium at Phoenix Mills.
  • I usually make my first stop at Lush. So naturel et so expensif but so worth it. How did you like my fake French?
  • Right across from Lush is this new adventure store. Clearly I'm not a girl in search of any kind of adventure but have gone to this store many times. It has travel pillows, multipurpose plugs (for every country), bottles of everything from shampoo to vaseline meant for a mini-me sized person and even cool stuff like toothbrush covers (something I wish I had invented). But the weirdest thing I saw in this store was this 'device' called Go girl. Its something we girls can use so that we too can pee standing up. Woohoo! I have big issues with public toilets so this seemed awesome till I realised it costs Rs. 500 for one of these and you're expected to re-use it. Gross! There was no way I was putting that back in my bag so gave up on the idea of getting myself one. According to Aku it was pretty much what boys do with their penises. Hmm. Didn't sound all that brilliant after that.
  • Moving on... I'm totally in love with Landmark. I am definitely not big on the reading but wow! It's got books, magazines, dvds, music, art supplies, more books, video games, chocolates, and even more books. I went a little crazy in the Graphic design section. Picked up a couple of books, one of which didn't have all that much to do with design even. Its called Post Secret. When I'm bored I like to read other peoples dirty little secrets. That's why. I've thought of so many many. 
  • And right next to the Graphic Design section was a whole section on the Kama Sutra. Obviously there were tonnes of books by D-pak Ch-oh-pra. Yawn. Came home and told my mom all about it just for a reaction cause its fun to see her awkwardness while talking about sex. So while mom's around, Aku decided to discuss how the positions in the book seem impossible but then I said no Aku, its just the style of drawing where the anatomy is all messed up cause they look like they have puppet limbs but in reality its totally doable. 
          Book on Kamasutra - Rs. 2,150
          Look on my moms face - Priceless.
  • Zara opened this Thursday. Been there twice already. Waited in long queues outside the fitting room. It reminds me of the time when I was 12 and McDonalds opened in Bombay and I stood in a long queue with my family to get my first McChicken burger. Maybe not the same but anyway it's a pretty good store. Bought a bunch of stuff. I am loving it. Clothes maketh the Neha (very happy). Feel like going out everyday. (All girls think like this and I'm not the only lame one). So anyway it's worth a visit if you can handle being surrounded by so many women. After leaving I felt like I could write a book on my experience at Zara and call it Neha Kamath and the Chamber of estrogen. Definitely more drama than Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
  • This afternoon I was back at Phoenix mills watching SATC 2 with the girlies. Extremely over the top, horrible clothes, no story and too much info about Abu Dhabi. But, Mr. Big is a treat. The older man wisdom coupled with the smooth attitude wins.
  • Ended my weekend with a visit to the Deli. Third time this week. third hot chocolate, second wafer thin pizza (which is vegetarian but tastes like its got meat on it - Yum!). Did some celeb spotting too but gave them the 'I don't know who you are' look just for fun.

    All in all a great weekend. Time to watch Shutter island. Goodnight.

    Monday, June 7, 2010

    Happy rainy season

    What a weekend!
    • It finally started raining. Everything looks clearer now when I look out of my window. I feel like I don't need glasses anymore. So looks like I won't be asking my mom to make that gajjar ka halwa after all. (That's my solution for making sure I never wear glasses cause I'd look like a moron).
    • Nadal won the French Open. No, I didn't watch. But i youtubed it. I heart Nadal.
    • My toenails which were painted black now have transparent nailpaint. Thought I'd take a break from my 'goth foot' look.
    • Had an interesting Saturday-Sunday swimming in the Arabian sea of alcohol.
    • I played such awesome tennis that I can feel pain in every bone/muscle (can't tell which it is yet) below my face. Maybe its punishment for laughing at the little kids who are made to run around the court before they play while I do a 5 second fake stretch with my racquet just to look like a serious player. So now I have to get more regular with tennis or maybe I'll just scream like Monica Seles as that seems like it would be an easier option.
    • Met up with some friends and went to Zenzi mills. I normally really don't like this place. I would like to use the word hate but Enez (my married = mature friend) told me not to use that word. Something about bad karma. So getting back to the point, I really dislike Zenzi Mills but had an awesome time there. Danced to music I would think I'd need to be on something for to enjoy. I love that I didn't. Felt like I was a part of Osho dance meditation or something. Interesting.
    • Also attended a really fun birthday brunch at Tetsuma with Shivani (my unmarried = immature friend). We planned on drinking only H2O and pretended to detox but obviously ended up doing a lot of colourful shots. After a while we were even eating prawns like we were doing shots. All this by 4pm. Had a big bonding session. Felt like we played the reverse of 'Never have I ever' with drinks first followed by 'this is what I did'. Too much info which was obviously fun. Left the party giggling away making a stop at Mad over Donuts for some weird reason. I was so brave that I got a donut that had no hole and was of the cream filled variety.
    • In other news, I'm still discovering my new computer. I'd like to dedicate John Mayer's 'Your body is a wonderland' to it. Well, maybe just the first verse. The rest seems slightly inappropriate maybe. I also got Adobe CS5. I am beyond lost. But fluid tunes makes me feel like Iron Man everyday.
    Technology spins my head right round right round. Haha. I finally realised we can download Shazam on the Blackberry. Now what I called 10 track 10 for all these years finally has a name. Its Eple by Royksopp.  I even managed to sing it somehow. Have a listen.

    So had an awesome weekend without facebook. Life seems like a day in the park with a rainbow in the sky. Luckily I'm not on twitter. Until a while ago I didn't exist on the World wide web. Even my facebook and blogger accounts didn't show up.
    I have googled myself in my free time (cause I do have a lot of it) and till last year this is all that showed up. Look for me. Yes I am that lame.
    Now there's this and even this. (You can find me in the whispering room and alcove).
    How cool did I get in 2010? Anyway I will leave you to think about that as I have to go eat dinner.

    painting by me.
    Almost forgot.

    I even painted.

    After years.

    So I'll leave you with today's wikiquote.

    Art hurts. Art urges voyages - and it is easier to stay at home.
    - Gwendolyn Brooks.

    Too hungry to decode that quote. 

    Wednesday, June 2, 2010

    The Breakup

    I was young and stupid. We were not right for each other. He probably got too much attention from the others. Everyone 'liked' him. But its time we went our separate ways. Atleast for a while. 
    It happened sooner than I thought. I guess I could justify it by calling it a 3 year itch maybe.
    Who knows maybe we'll get back together someday.
    I broke up with Facebook.
    No regrets.

    Just after the breakup, it rained. Felt like a sign from the Gods.

    Now that its raining and I guess this finally marks the end of summer. I'm in a mood to write some poetry.

    Its raining,
    Its pouring,
    Dumbledore is boring,
    I am an Indian unmarried girl,
    But I still wear a toe ring.

    I am not high. I don't do drugs. I just enjoy writing meaningless poetry that rhymes.

    I'm going to install some new softwares on my computer now. Yay! Making folders and more folders gives me a high. I love organising spaces. Even if its the desktop.

    Allo allo

    Had the most amazing weekend. Was beyond crazy. 

    Drove down to Gorai. It was 3 girls, a guy and no pizza place. We got into our swimsuits and lazed in the pool all day with our floating bar (where we kept our beer cans on the kickboard). Played a very funny game of 'Never have I ever'. Felt like I knew too much about my friends after that. Ran out of alcohol and went hunting for more. It was just like in the caveman days where the man did the hunting and the women chilled around the fire and probably made bangles out of animal bones to kill time, we too sent our male friend to do the beer hunting while 3 of us shamelessly sat in the car in our swimsuits and towels waiting for him. 

    Even though I've been going to Gorai pretty often, I get excited about the meditation Pagoda every single time and insist on taking pictures and act like a tourist for some reason. I tell everyone how its the largest in Asia and the President came to inaugurate it. For some reason I find that to be an interesting piece of information.

    Anyway after the hunting, we headed back, lazed in the pool some more, randomly got out of the pool to play some baddy, wiped out a whole vessel of prawn curry. Never thought I liked it that much but for some reason it tasted just heavenly. After all this we actually headed to my friends party in Gorai which was really fun. We drove right onto the beach. Felt like we were in a land far far away when it was only an hour away from home. While one of my friends kept chasing after chicken lollipops all night, the other was on a mission to make new Catholic friends for some reason. Everyone was beyond drunk by this point clearly. Except for me. I slid off a swing into the sandpit and began laughing till the swing hit me in my back. This sobered me up instantly.

    Was a super weekend. I even learnt cycling. Im 90% ready now. Maybe 95 even. If I get a good push while starting and my cycle tyres actually have air in them then maybe I could finally cycle. Now maybe I can bring my cycle to Bombay and cycle around where I live and let people see me and cycle like I've been doing it for years. Haha. So I guess I possess a new skill now. Can I even call it a skill? I guess I could.

    Few weeks ago I was in Lonavla with some friends and somewhat lost a skill I possessed. The chess playing skill. I'm pretty competitive when it comes to board games. So anyway I realised that the knight is placed on the 2nd spot on the chessboard and not the third. This made me feel like my entire childhood was a lie. Sob sob. But now I've realised that my sister never actually beat me at Chess. Woohooo!

    Anyway since I got back I've watched Twilight twice. I'm obsessed with Bella's lullaby (the tune Edward plays Bella on the piano). I know its a very silly movie but that chemistry is just insane. I wouldn't mind turning into a vampire for Edward Cullen. I have seriously given it some thought and that actually is my final answer. Lock kiya jaye.

    I watched Rob Pattinson on Jay Leno a while ago. I was in love. Think I'm getting a bit stalkerish.
    Anyway speaking of Jay Leno, was watching his show last night. It was Kevin and the bands last night unfortunately. Colin Farrell was on. Colin minus his irish accent is a 9 on 10. With the accent he's a 6.

    Hope I'm not made to do Yoga tomorrow. Aku is trying everything to get me to start Yoga again. She even mentioned paying me. Fortunately for me, the Yoga teacher sleeps even more than I do and hardly ever makes it for class.

    So, goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. I don't know why I just said that but goodbye.
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