Thank You #7

Inspired by thxthxthx.

Concept, photo & design by me. 

Mother = Friend?

When I wake up in the morning sometimes I head straight to my computer before even brushing my teeth.

Gross but true.

And when I get there I find little newspaper clippings carefully torn and kept next to my computer keyboard.

Who is this newspaper Santa?

My mother.

I never really worry and am oddly positive sometimes but here's what she had cut out for me this morning.

The Times of India, July 16, 2011.
Click here for complete article by Chetan Bhagat.

Sometimes I like to think of her as a friend in the above 50 category.


And just then she goes back to mother mode.
See below to understand what mother mode means.

The Times of India, July 7, 2011
Click here for complete article. Scroll down.

Does she want me to brush my teeth more often or have a baby?
And more importantly does she want me to dress like that as a mother?

Beer Belly

The Beer & Burger festival decorations at Woodside Inn.

Last weekend as you can see was a very eventful one for me.

Of all the things I did, here's one more from the list.

I went to Woodside Inn in Colaba for their Beer and Burger Festival.

It was my first time at Woodside Inn (which opened a couple of years ago) since I live aaaall the way on the other side of town.

Ok, so it isn't all that far. I have just been too lazy to drag myself there.

But, last Sunday I'm glad I did.

I really liked the place - the decor, the chilled out ambience and the walls covered with beer paraphernalia. My visual merchandiser friend Vahbiz Irani had decorated the place just for the festival. She had done some interesting things. As you enter you can see a big beer bottle made with hundreds of little burgers and when you go upstairs there's a big burger which is a collage of different colourful beer bottle caps. Interesting!

Beer & Burgers from around the world.

Now about the F&B:

We were 4 of us - all set to get ourselves some Beer & Burgers since that only seemed right.

Woodside Inn has created a special menu just for the festival.

So, you could choose a country and have the beer from that country and the burger that tasted like it was of the cuisine of that country.

My friends immediately knew what they wanted to have. One went with Japan, another went with Italy and the third went with Germany.

I didn't try any of their burgers. Just stole a lot of fries.

Mr. Italy did not get a beer and chose to accompany his burger with an entire bar of chocolate.

Miss Japan enjoyed her Asahi beer but complained that her burger was a little too Soya saucy.

Mr. Germany (of I love U2 fame) had a Schneider Weisse with his burger.

Mr. Germany really seemed to know his beers and recommended a fruity one for me.

He also gave me helpful tips like you always drink from light to dark. Yes, we are still talking about beer and not the time of day.

I finally decided which burger I wanted to have and was about to order it when I saw 2 delicious pizzas floating across the restaurant. I think they were on plates, in a tray, held by a man. But all I could see were floating pizzas.

So, I went ahead and got myself a grilled chicken and scamorza pizza and a nice dark Belgian Beer called Leffe which came in a manly wine glass. Unfortunately, only the burgers come with flags so I didn't get a Belgian flag.

Time flew by with good company, conversation, food and beer. And it was time for another one

My second beer was also a Leffe since as we learnt earlier you drink from light to dark.

Leffe being a dark beer cannot be followed with a light one.

So much knowledge on a rainy Sunday.

Verdict: 

I loved it. I definitely gained a lot from this experience.

A lot of beer trivia from Mr. Germany.

A lot of belly from the beer.

And a lot of flags to keep at home in my pen stand.

The Beer & Burger festival is on at Woodside Inn from 15-31 July, 2011.

But, I'm sure they will serve Beer & Burgers even after the festival. They just might not be grouped country-wise.

I went a little overboard shooting the flags on my National Geographic World Map.

Photos taken by me on my phone camera.

You only live once

Because you won't get your life twice.

That's a very bad Hindi-to-English literal translation of the movie title Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara by me.
My Hindi is so bad it takes me 5 seconds just to say it. Something like having to say Rab Ne Bana di Jodi.

I watched Zindagi last weekend with zero expectations.
Honestly, it exceeded my expectations and was a good enjoyable film.
So, here and there there are a few things missing. Like a good enough background story showing how true their friendship really is helping us understand who the characters really are.

The music was very catchy. And very Spanish like the rest of the movie.
Sometimes it feels like a 3 hour ad for Spain Tourism.
The first 30 seconds of the movie however are packed with sponsor logos which is when you know you will be hearing a tagline of some brand cleverly put in as part of casual conversation (Dar ke aage jeet hai).
And the opening credits sort of come out of nowhere which seemed like obvious bad editing.

But, I would still call it a good film with good music, good looking people and good humour.
On a rainy Sunday afternoon, that was good enough to keep me entertained.

• Farhan Akhtar was the perfect guy - good looking, writes poetry, uniquely funny, can dance and is adventurous.
• Hrithik minus the attitude and the extra finger was hot.
• Abhay Deol for some reason speaks Hindi with a weird English accent or should I just be honest and call it gay? Nothing against gay people but he sounds like a straight person trying to imitate a gay person if you know what I mean. Plus he shouldn't dance next to Hrithik.
• Katrina was so beautiful. She's come a long way since... when she was chubbier and took longer to do dance steps (I'm not trying to be mean. I just can't remember the names of her earlier films). But, she was just very likeable.
• Unlike Kalki who had a character who wasn't. But good job.

All that traveling and adventure made me want to pack my bags right away and head to a land far far away. And soon.

When I got home that evening, I met one of my friends, Mallika who had also watched the movie.
She asked me if I would ever do any of those adventurous things seen in the film.

• Well, I'm definitely not running down a street with bulls chasing me.
• I wouldn't mind scuba but I sometimes feel like my ear pressure isn't right when I can't balance well in Yoga. Am I a hypochondriac?
• And skydiving? I always wanted to try it. But, when it came down to it, would I?

I thought to myself -
[at some level it seems pointless. It's either like committing suicide with a parachute or diving out of a plane for kicks and risking your life.

Pretty mixed up. Maybe the adrenalin rush you get is worth it.

But I'm not an adrenaline junkie.]

So, here's how the conversation went:
Me: I am not scared of heights. At all. But, yes to jump out of a plane I would be scared. So my answer is "I don't know".
Mallika (looking disinterested on hearing my answer): What about birds? They can't commit suicide right?
Me: By jumping from a height?
Mallika: Yea. Or even by slitting their wrists.
Unless they take the sleeping pills route.
It's much easier for fish right?
Me: To jump out of water? Or wait for a big fish?

Long pause. Lost in thought.
And for 5 minutes I was imagining a hundred ways in which a crow could commit suicide.
Mallika would like to compile our arbid thoughts and turn it into a book of short stories called - How 'tequilla' Mocking bird. 
Got it? If you didn't, just keep saying it.
I don't think PETA would be too pleased.

Clearly Zindagi na Milegi Dobara led to very deep conversations about life.

Harry Potter and the blah blah blah

Harry, Hermione & Ron by Nan Lawson.

I watched the last Harry Potter movie over the weekend.

I don't know whether to call myself a fan but I did want to do the whole first day-first show thing.

Unfortunately, it was only playing in multiplexes on the second day. But, I managed to catch the show in 3D. Wohoo! And I got myself there on a rainy day. So, that probably does make me a fan.

Now, it may be a bit pointless do watch it in 3D since it's a regular movie so only things like explosions, dragons and subtitles really pop. Was it worth it? Ofcourse it was.

I watched the movie with a friend of mine. She's watched the last few movies of the series with me. And it's always the same routine. We watch the movie, feel great and go and get a drink later because we're so happy and feel the need to celebrate.

my 3D glasses

So, on Saturday I went to watch Harry Potter and the blah blah blah in 3D.

I went armed with a sweater and warm socks (with hearts all over them). For some reason my friends find it embarassing to be seen with me when I look like this. Ok, so maybe sometimes I look like I've popped right out of Alice in Wonderland but I have my reasons. I am only making sure I don't go home sneezing. As much as I love going to the theatre, I hate how it feels like I've bought a ticket to watch a movie in a refrigerator with 300 other people.

Anyway, we got to the theatre a little late. My taxi was moving slowly, I was running in the rain, then stopping to take a breath because I'm not as young as I look, then walking instead of running so I don't slip outside, got my bag checked a bunch of times like I was a criminal and reached about 5 minutes late.

I was pretty mad at myself for reaching late since before rushing and leaving home I had spent an hour moving very slowly - washing and drying my hair and eating the Shawerma that my mother had made with so much love. But then we walked into the theatre and got super cool 3D glasses. The childish excitement made me forgive myself for being late. I got Yellow glasses and my friend got Blue. And we both got a wet tissue packet with it so we could disinfect it before using it. How cool is that? And thoughtful. But, does it really work? I don't know. Wouldn't germs spread more on a damp item? Ok, I need help.

Steering away from the tangent, and cruising back to the point, I absolutely loved the movie. And I didn't even need popcorn to complete the perfect cinematic experience.

A friend who had read the books told me she was slightly disappointed with the last movie.

Obviously a movie can't cover every detail written over 100s of pages.

I'm glad that I hadn't read any of the books. The movie had quite a few surprises in it for me.

And I love surprises.

The experience in a nutshell:

• Harry, Hermione and Ron's accents are so fun.
• I've always loved the names of all the characters. My favourites being Bellatrix Lestrange and Luna Lovegood.
• Love the spells. Luckily I can't actually use them or I'd be the Queen of Control Freaks if I could use Imperio every now and then.
• Snape and his powerful voice that commands your attention.
• Voldemort's laugh after he thinks he's killed Harry is pure evil. Love it.
• The finale being all that I expected it to be.
• Good winning over evil: the perfect ending. I believe in happy endings as clichéd and unreal as they may seem. It gives us hope. So why not?

My favourite line in the movie was the one Dumbledore says to Harry when he's in limbo:

"Ofcourse it's all in your head Harry, but why should that mean it's not real?"

Which basically means that what's real is what we label as real.
Do we really dream at night and live our regular lives during the day or is it the other way?
Do we believe what we do because we have been told to?
Something to think about.


Dear JK Rowling,
You are a genius.
Thank you for making my imagination pop and explode beyond a space that even I didn't know existed.

Who selected Simi?

There's a new show on TV. 

New = a month old.

Now normally I would've written about it the day after the first show.

But, why did I wait so long?

I just needed to let it all settle in.

And have a couple of limeshots to digest Simi Garewal with her 'Can you guess my age' wrinkle free face dressed in all white while juggling between playing the roles of intrusive therapist, concerned but annoying friend and a flirty 16 year old named Kiki to name a few. 

Multi-faceted she sure is.

The show is called Simi Selects India's Most Desirable. 

But, who selected Simi?
Who let the Simi out?
Who? WHO? Who? WHo?

Trying hard to compete with other (successful) talk shows, Simi tried to jump the shark and returned after many years on this new show with an all new avatar. Or so she thought.

Segments:

It all starts with let's talk about everything that's you.
Simi calls it Personality Café.

5 minutes later the show turns into let's talk about your love life and when you're getting married.

Then comes the parents segment.

So, this is not even a real segment. The parents just seem to pop by every now and then out of nowhere like the Great Gazoo and give their opinions on every question that is asked to their celebrity child. Sometimes you wonder if they're hiding backstage. How could they pre-record and be ready for every possible question and answer.

After this comes the talk (police interrogation) about their partner/ ex-partner, have their parents comment on their partner/ ex-partner or just who they think is good looking (like we care).

Then comes the part where the celebrity can show off a skill. This could range from making food, drinks to even singing or dancing. Wow, now those are some serious talents (not).

And then we move onto the Tarot segment.

Oooooh!

A little rotating wall reveals a Tarot card reader with a table, cards and a wall with a spacey design et al. Festive!

The super smart tarot card reader pretty much tells us what we've already read about the celebrity in Bombay Times/ exactly what you wish to hear so everyone can go home smiling.

And if they don't have questions, not to worry, Simiji (yes, people seriously call her that) has a whole bunch ready.

I think she was called Simi Aunty by some of the young celebs (star kids who grew up playing in her garden) but then probably said Aunty mut kaho na and got away with a respectful ji.

After this you yaaaaaawn.

Lady Simi then gives you a well edited sneak peek into next week's episode that basically tries to trick you into believing that the celebrity said something that's not politically correct. Hoping to get an Oh my God or Haw reaction.

Then we have The Minefield - a Q & A segment where the celebrity is asked questions they really don't want to answer. Dodging her questions somehow seems more difficult than dodging mines and if you don't answer, the question is simply rephrased and asked again in a very 'concerned' tone.

Simi then tries to make it interesting by playing a game that people who are a quarter of her age love to play - Never have I ever -  which she twists into I Have Never. It's normally played as a drinking game. And honestly whenever I have played it, I have lied. Unless I was just very 'thirsty' that day.
With no alcohol involved, and nothing stopping the celebrities from lying, it's just another pointless segment.

And then we return to watch the annoying audience be dangerously intrusive and bore us with more questions in a segment called Truth Bucket - which is when you wish someone would just tell them it's none of their business.

If they don't answer the penalty is a hug. Original.

You can totally see how the boys purposely ask inappropriate questions just to get a hug from a hot celebrity. Eeks. And one lucky questioner gets a Neutrogena hamper that has been signed by the celebrity guest. I dont know what the excitement is all about. It's Neutrogena not Apple.

And then it all comes to an end. No, not the world. Just the show.

The celebrity draws a self portrait in less than a minute.

No, it's not a game. It's just because they really don't care.

Simi auctions the artwork (on the net).
The common man (me etc) is supposed to bid for it and the proceeds go to charity.

Finally the celebrity leaves with a really big weird trophy which I'm sure they wouldn't be keeping in their living room since being on her show isn't exactly an achievement.

Will I watch it next week?

Ofcourse I will.

I'm a mean girl who loves giving mean comments while watching TV and eating junk food.
Especially on Sundays.

Now about the special guests:
I'm bored of bitching so let' make it quick and painless.

Ranbir Kapoor: Not fooling anyone.

Neetu Singh (not a guest but had as much face-time as Ranbir on the show): Mother obsessed with her Aankhon ka taara.

Deepika Padukone: I like her so I won't be mean.

Siddhartha Mallya: Surprisingly likeable. Love his confidence.

Sonakshi Sinha: For an actress who is in her twenties, she has a curfew? And cries if her father cuts himself while shaving?

John Abraham: I didn't really watch this one. I was busy focusing on whether his arm is bigger than my face. Plus he pronounces prayer as pray-year.

Sonam Kapoor: Refreshing and honest.

Advice to Simi: Spend a day with Graham Norton (love him). Learn a thing or two about creating a fun show.

Tip: Note the undertones of sarcasm in this blogpost for full effect.

Thank You #6

Inspired by thxthxthx.

Concept & design by me. 

Photo by Akshaya.

Life is full of difficult choices

When I woke up this morning, this is what I was faced with...

What should I wear today?

Photo by Stylestyx.
Awesome doodle by me.

When love & Love collide

I was a fussy eater and I still am sometimes (can't eat green things). 

But I do enjoy everything else. It's like a celebration in my mouth.

When it's health food - I Eat to Live.

When its dessert / fried - I Live to Eat.

80% of my meals are not salad-like and so I make up for it by doing Yoga 3 times a week.

So when I found this, I was obviously very amused.

by Baked Ideas.

Two of my loves = food ♥ yoga.

I hope to make these someday. I wish I could cook. And well too.

I don't think making maggi and papad really allow me to call myself a chef. And after my papad episode, I quit eating it forever (for now).

I've tried helping my mother make rotis since I was a child but for some reason my hands itch when I try rolling the dough. No, it's not an excuse.

Also, I'm very scared of fire. And that's not even a lie. Ask my friend Shivani. She lit the Bunsen burner for me in Chemistry class for two whole years in school.

What can I say? Life is hard.

So,
Dear Yoga cookie people,
It's going to take a while for you to be born out of my kitchen.
Sorry.

There's always hope.

by Alanna Cavanagh.

Thank You #5

Inspired by thxthxthx.
Concept & design by me. 
Photos by Akshaya.