Hug me do

Hug, hug me do.

You know I love you.

I'll always be true.

So ple-ee-ee-eease, hug me do.

I'm sure some of the Beatles were rolling in their graves as I wrote those words.

But that's what I'd like to sing to my bed every night.

To be honest I'm not much of a people hugger.

Unless I've had some help from a glass of fermented grape.

Or a tree hugger.

Ok, for that I'd probably need more than one glass.

Why?

Well, I feel uncomfotable bumping chests with people I'm not so familiar with.

And the fermented grape doesn't make me want to either.

It just helps ease the discomfort.

I can only hug someone I truly love/ like a lot.

Or if I meet someone after a very very long time.

Is that weird?

Most of my friends think I'm crazy and have a laugh everytime they see me hug someone.

Because what I do is more of a shoulder bump coupled with a pat on the back to make up for the weirdness of it all.

Call me crazy but it's true.

And I prefer being the huggee and not the hugger.

Like a spoonee and not a spooner.

Get the drift?


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If you are a strange creation of God just like me, take my advice.

Head over to a Tempur showroom.

Buy yourself a Tempur bed, pillow and other bed accessories you don't need if you have shit loads of money.

If you don't have money growing from the money plant (like I thought I did when I was a whole lot younger), enjoy the Demo. It's free.

That bed is the boyfriend you never had.

It will wrap its expensive memory foamy arms around you and make you feel oh so loved.

It will make you smile.

And it will make you sing Hug me do.

And to add to the outer world experience, they have pillows too.

At 10 grand a pop.

Or you can buy it's evil twin for 3 at Portico.

The importance of sleep

In my last post I wrote about how I wake up at 630 am only twice a year.
I lied.
Well, I didn't lie really.

I wrote the truth.
And karmas a bitch.

I woke up this morning at 630 am and went for the Mumbai Marathon.

No silly, I didn't run.

So why did I go?
That's a good question.

I entered an Instagram contest.
A lot of hashtagging later I won a lomo camera.
And a pass to the Marathon.

Yay!
Yayy!
Yayyy!

All the yayying later.
I had the world's worst headache.
And I got sick.
And got a sty for half a day.

This is what happens when you show off about waking up only twice a year at 630 am.
That too out of choice.
And getting 8 magnificent hours of sleep the rest of the year.

Moral: Always choose sleep. And don't tell others about it.

All photos by me.

The Globes

 

Don't you just love the Globes?

 

I wake up at 630 am only twice a year.

For the Golden Globes and the Oscars.

With the time difference et al we Indians have to suffer the task of setting our alarm to that unearthly hour. But I do it. And with no complaints. And without hitting the snooze button even once.

 

This year it just happened to slip my sleepy mind.

And I even forgot to catch the re-run at 9 pm.

I could have cried.

 

But alas! I had Tata Sky + and could magically record it the next time it was on TV.

And so I only managed to watch it today. 4 whole days later.

 

There was no Red carpet bit. But I caught the rest of the show and it was fantabulous as always.

The energy that fills that room seems so electric.

I wish I could be there some day.

My childhood dream was to watch Oprah Live but now ever since she lost that zing I've replaced that dream with this one/ watching the Oscars/ well, there's a long list.

 

Watching the show even days later was so worth it.

 

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler had me in splits with their special flavour of humour. Let's just call it shamelessness.

 

Jodie Foster's speech gave me a lump in my throat which somehow helped keep my tears hidden behind my eyeballs.

 

I loved how Ben Affleck used his wife Jennifer Garner to complete his Thank you speech when she went on stage to present another award.

 

And why was Lena Dunham walking like a penguin-robot in her gown? Ok I'm just being mean because she's amazing and I'm jealous. So much talent and she's only 26!

 

I couldn't get enough of the Americans saying Les Mi-say-rrraa-bluh in the most Frenchified* accent they could pull off.

 

SNL's Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig were so mad-funny. I could just keep replaying it and laugh again.

 

Was Jennifer Lopez wearing a dress or was that just body glitter?

 

Arnold Shwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone presenting for Foreign Language film in what sounded like a foreign language.

 

Claire Danes, Megan Fox and Jessica Alba - new mothers who are thinner than me. FML!

And Adele. Oh Adele! Love how she said Aw ma goddd at the start of her speech.
 

Leo DiCaprio - Always a nominee. Never a winner.

 

Meryl Streep - Always a winner. But suddenly just a nominee. Who mysteriously got the flu.

 

Bill Clinton being introduced as Hillary's husband.

 

And then there was the fun part of taking mental notes of who I think are lookalikes.

- Jodie Foster and Helen Hunt

- Glenn Close and flu stricken Meryl Streep who didn't make it.

- Emily Blunt and Zooey Deschanel minus the bangs.

- Jessica Lange and Sigourney Weaver

- Dame Maggie Smith and Holland Taylor

- Daniel Craig and Jeremy Renner

- Jeremy Irons and Daniel Day Lewis

 

And then there were a lot of fun trailers too.

I have a long list of movies to watch now. And Silver Linings Playbook seems to be topping the list.

 

What can I say. I just love the Globes.

 

Golden.

 

Snow.

 

And the regular one I had on my desk when I was a child.

Ok it wasn't so regular.

It was lit from within.

And I don't mean that metaphorically but literally.

 

 

* made it sound as close to French as possible.

Different from french fries.

Clap clap

I often think about random things.
Like would a rose by any other name smell just as sweet?

Ok I was joking about the rose.

But have you ever wondered about whether a Comedy show on TV would be as funny without the Applause?

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I know it's hard to laugh these days with all the fun words being muted on Indian Television.

Oh well!

But do they need to signal us?

It's like they're telling you when you should laugh.

And you laugh like a robot.

Is that weird?

How do we undo the programming?

I for one am going to consciously not laugh the next time I'm watching TV and if it's actually that funny, I'll probably not be able to contain it right?

Not a good way to test the theory?

Any better ideas?

The colour craze

Underwater ink photography by Alberto Seveso

Have you noticed how nowadays noone uses simple colour names anymore.

Now all I hear is

Oxblood

Camel

Salmon

Brick

Rose

What is rose? Pink? Red? White? Yellow?

And these people who use these unnecessary new names aren't even designers.
When did the common man get so fancy?
And so complex.
And why is everything the new black?

Is it normal for everyone to know the colour of the blood of an ox?
Well, I'd just call it Maroon.
Or Wine when I'm trying to sound fancy.

Something to remember

I was thinking of my father just today.
Like I do the other 364 days of the year. 365 in a leap year.

Most things remind me of him. Sometimes it's TV shows, sometimes it's finding a cool new gadget, and sometimes it's enjoying a cold beer on a hot day.

He gave the World's best advice.
And always said the right things. Even when some of it sounded very wrong.

But something that always stuck in my head was this:

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

And then today I realized that my dad totally stole the line from Thumper's dad.

But I still love it.

Thanks SwissMiss. It was like finding a buried treasure!

True Love

What is true love?

Well, for me it's the beautiful glittery stuff you see in the movies.

That kind of unconditional love is so hard to give at times.

Except when you find that special someone for whom it pours out of you like a perennial waterfall.

I usually find it easy to love animals in this way.

And I can never understand people who don't.

Since I was a little girl, I've always wanted a dog.

Though I think at that young age I probably just wanted a horse that would suit my height.

Or even an Oompa Loompa would've kept me happy.

But I never had a pet of my own.

And that made me a little sad.

Design by Gemma Correll

The years went by like passing trains.

And in that time I bonded with many little dogs - some that belonged to friends and some that lived in my neighbourhood.

We played, talked about life and I cried when they left me.

And then last month I went to a dog adoption drive.

I played with all the puppies and almost took one home.

He was tiny and black and white and his name was Oreo for obvious reasons.

I could imagine him looking pretty at breakfast next to a cup of milk.

Don't worry, I wasn't going to eat him.

His cuteness just made my heart melt.

But I realized I didn't have it in me to give that glittery part of my heart away just as yet.

It was a combination of the fear of commitment, responsibility and attachment.

Oh well!

But for those brave enough, here's one of life's simple truths:

A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. 

Give him your heart and he will give you his.

- Marley & Me (2008).

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Hope you have a beautiful and glittery day!

Things I have learned from movies

Book by Stefan Sagmeister. Photo by me.

Your foot is as big as your arm from your elbow to your wrist - Pretty Woman (1990)

With great power comes great responsibility - Spiderman (2002)

If you are going to eat pie, you'd rather pass on a la mode. Ice cream weakens the legs - Knight and Day (2010)

Vampires don't fry in the sunlight but shine bright like a diamond - Twilight (2008)

If you leave the shutter open long enough but you stand still, everything in the picture will blur except you - A Lot like Love (2005)

I is kind, I is smart, I is important - The Help (2011)

Words to live by

These are a few words that I enjoyed reading. I hope it makes you smile/ chuckle/ changes your life.

Something everyone tells you but you never take seriously.

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And something you ought to know but have maybe forgotten.

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Some hope:

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Something I've learned from experience:

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Don't forget :

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And always remember:

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Happy New Year

You probably spent last night out with friends and lots of drunk people from whom you wanted to stay at a puke-free distance from. Am I right? 

And now it's that time of the year again to make some good resolutions.

Here are a few of mine:

- To tickle the ivories.

- Get lost in someplace amazing.

- Take a hike (just kidding).

- Shake a leg every now and then. 

- Maybe even both at the same time.

- And be able to twist like a pretzel again.

What about you? Anything you want to change in your life in 2013?

I wish you all the strength to stick to your resolutions.

And if you have trouble coming up with them, here's some help.

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Be happy. Stay healthy. Be generous. 

And go for it!

Happy New Year!