New poetry

A few years ago...

Breakups always make you sad.
Like a part of you has sailed away.
Beyond the horizon.
And sunsets will never be the same again.

You feel so sad, it's almost poetic.

The realisation of dependence.
The loss.
The loss of a crutch that you only just realised was a crutch.
And noone to give you that constant supply of movies. For free.

by Jasper James.

Today...

I download my own movies.
And it's easier than tying my shoelaces.

I feel so powerful, it's almost poetic.


I downloaded Last Night and watched it last weekend.
A friend recommended it.
Simple story. Lovely man. Lovely music. Abrupt Ending.
It's like the PG13 version of Closer.
It messes with your head but not as much.

It makes you realise how powerful your thoughts and feelings can be.

And how complicated relationships can be.

Moral: Who needs a boyfriend when you can download your own movies.
Unless you're Adele and can turn it all around and win yourself some Grammys.

Note: I don't hate men/ relationships. I just enjoy being funny/ sarcastic. 

For the sake of your mental health, please don't take my blog seriously.

20 seconds too late

via thisisnthappiness.

I often feel like I have these super awesome comebacks but then I'm always 20 seconds too late.

And timing is everything.

I sometimes try to be extra smart and look into my future and foresee uncomfortable situations where I may need to defend myself with a great comeback.

But somehow those uncomfortable situations that I wish would happen just don't.

A few years ago this is what happened with let's just say "Somebody that I used to know".

Somebody: I just went skydiving and it was great.

Me: Hmm.

Somebody: It was such an amazing experience. What a rush! Blah blah blah.

Me: Really?

Somebody: It was so good. It's even better than sex.

20 seconds later...

Me (in my mind): Are you sure you're doing it right?

Oh well!

My mind felt like I had won a battle.

Happy Anniversary to my favourite couple

To my dear sister, Aku and the bestest* brother-in-law, Anand

Happy Anniversary!

You will always be in my heart.

And on my fridge.

Here's a little recap since I'm sure it was all a blur for you.


*I know bestest is not a word but I didn't have a better one.

Stick to the plan

My original plan for March: learn to play the Piano.

That didn't happen.
This is what I did.

I traveled a bit. Worked.
And I got an iPhone. Yay!
I know my last post was all about making time and prioritising but who cares when you've got the most pointless apps on your phone and can ignore the world and you feel so good that you don't need friends anymore.

I'm hooked onto Pinterest and Instagram and Flipboard.
I listen to Dubai radio. Because I can.
And I cut fruits on Fruit Ninja the rest of the time.
And I feel awesome.
Like a Ninja who can cook.

When my battery is low I finally talk to people again.
And then when I still have some time left over I make time for fun stuff like:

Watching Karsh Kale Live and staring at his handsomeness.

Eating Breakfast at Suzette and looking into Pierre's sea blue eyes and asking him for fresh orange juice.

And then going there again in the evening for some sinful hot chocolate.

Not putting any mehendi on my fingers so I can attack the food and beverages at my friend's Mehendi party.

Attending my friend's wedding after learning how to wear a 2 piece mundu from youtube.

Preventing a wardrobe malfunction by pulling a Liz Hurley. (Remember her Versace safety pin LBD? Same concept but a less obvious look. And no I didn't bag any magazine covers).
No photo available. Luckily.

Making my hair look like a croissant. Just incase I feel the need to, the next time I see Pierre and find the need to look Parisien.

Buying a lot of things I don't need. And then learning eye makeup at MAC like putting eyeliner while dodging your eyelashes.

And so many more things.

I suddenly feel like I'm one of those people who has 48 hours in the day.

Hopefully I'll make some time for the things I really want to do in the New Year.

And since today happens to be one of the many New Years we have every year,

Happy Gudi Padwa.

Let's hope I learn to play the Piano or atleast cycle.

Suzette photos have been stolen from their Facebook page. The rest are from my personal collection.

Be Wise. Prioritize.

via SwissMiss.

Not all who wander are lost

After a month of many short trips, I wasn't yet done.

Last weekend I took off with some friends for the Eristoff Invasion Festival in Pune to watch David Guetta.
This is how I packed my little bag:
Toothbrush  ✓
Extra tshirts ✓
Socks ✓
Torch that doubles as an eraser ✓
You never know when you'll need to erase in the dark. Better to always be prepared.

And this is how my trip was...
A lot happened. Everything that could've gone wrong went wrong but there was still a lot to be happy about. Everyone I went with wasn't too kicked about Guetta but I had a great time anyway. 

All the excitement had made me wake up every hour the previous night.

I had a quick fruity breakfast and left home sleepy.

Got some Peppy to pep me up on the way.

Saw many many hoardings for a wax museum in Lonavla. True story.

Had lunch right next to the Osho Ashram. 

(Quick question: Does anyone know why the Osho people wear Maroon?)

And then I saw a big monkey but missed the peacock.

My curiosity was making me want to jump over the fence but the barbed wire stopped me.

Had a big lunch.

Reached the concert venue late.

Missed watching the very goodlooking (and talented) Sahej Bakshi. See his Google image.

My friends realised they had tickets for the concert in Delhi.

They managed to sort it. They must have a lot of good karma.

We had Eristoff cocktails (since they were sponsoring the show).

I was surrounded by teenagers.

I got sick. It wasn't the Eristoff. Maybe it was the teenagers.

And then I was miraculously ok.

David Guetta performed.

At one point he took his jacket off and men started cheering.

I have yet to understand Indian men.

And then Akon came out of nowhere.

He had a beer and disappeared.

And then he was back for the last song.

This is when David Guetta said that he wanted to ask Akon a question. 

I forgot what it was now but it wasn't "Will you be my Chammak Challo" as predicted by one of my friends.

Next on the agenda: A Visit to the Celebrity Wax Museum in Lonavla. Because why visit London?

In wonderland

I haven't updated in my blog in an unusually long time.
Because I was busy having a fantabulous February.
Where was I?
In wonderland.
I might as well have called myself Alice...

I was so far removed from reality... reality being Bombay.
I decided to do many short trips and whatever else came my way.
It was a little Yes Man inspired.
Here's what I've learnt about myself and about life in general from my experiences:

I can't drink anything but apple juice on a flight.

But I can watch movies besides High School Musical 3.

10 minutes of staring at me eating a shawerma will make me share.

If I'm at a party and there's a pool, I will be thrown in.

Size doesn't matter. Especially when it's a big martini glass.

I find the deeper meaning in everything after 2 drinks.

And sometimes find even the answers to some of life's many unanswered questions. Except ones like "Why do Indian men hold hands and walk down the street?"

I can't run from 30 cows on the beach.

I can get slapped by a wave without even being mean to it.

I make pretty bad sandcastles even with all the right tools.

I can swim for more hours in the day than sleep.

Sea water + sand = dreadlocks.

A monkey can peel an orange just as well as he can peel a banana.

I can meditate. It is actually possible.

I will only wake up once a year at 6am - for the Oscars.

I love screaming Surprise!!! But hate the tension that comes with it. I take it way too seriously.

Always carry socks - for flights, dinners, to sleep and incase your phone is missing a cover.

All men should have beards.

I can still do a cartwheel. It's a very bad cartwheel but it's a cartwheel.

I can do the dance from The Artist (even better than The Artist).

And lastly... with a little help from Alice herself
"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"

Holi-Day!

This year I played a different kind of Holi.
This involved a lot of sleep and no throwing of colour or drinking of Bhang.

Yes, I just slept right through it.
But then there's always next year.

Happy Holi!

And Happy Birthday Mama.

Since love makes the world go round

Are you in love? 

Do you have a type? 

I don't think I do since at different stages in my life I have been fascinated by completely different people.

By age 10 I was in love with Doogie Howser MD. He was a genius, could cure anything and was handsome according to 10 yr old me.

Luckily things changed and I moved on to having a Leonardo Dicaprio obsession at around age 12.

That was followed by Wolverine, James Bond, Spiderman's friend, a Vampire, a few musicians, many more unrealistic loves and some others.

Then I came back to reality and focused on Leo again. What's not to love about him? He looks good and cares about saving the planet.

1000 points to him. 

And to the rest of you,

Happy Valentine's Day!

Here's one of my favourite songs just for you...

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on your back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
I want more fans, you want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

You're always trying to keep it real
And I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you.


And if you have a little trouble finding a way to shower all that love, here's a little help.

Sweet Dreams

I watched Midnight in Paris yesterday.

Woody Allen has made Paris look oh so beootifool and oh so romantique.

Not quite how I remember Paris. Maybe because I was busy stuffing my face with cheese and chocolate and for some reason salmon.

The movie was lovely. Weird too. But lovely. 

(Don't read the next paragraph unless you've already watched the movie. I hate when people tell you the story and kill it for you).

Owen Wilson - (a screenwriter engaged to Rachel McAdams) gets transported every night at Midnight to Paris in the 20's. 

A time he felt was the Golden Age.

He meets Dali and Hemingway and Picasso and so many others.

He can't believe how lucky he is.

And when he explains the fact that he's from the future while having a drink with a few surrealists, they don't see anything wrong in it. They understand strange.

He falls in love with Adriana - Picasso's lover/ muse.

She takes him back to la Belle Époque - what according to her was Paris' Golden Age.

Here they meet Gaugin, Degas and they think the Renaissance was the Golden Age.

They probably fantasize about having a chat with Michelangelo and Da Vinci.

After a few crazy nights of time traveling, parties and finding love, Owen Wilson decides to part ways with Adriana and live in the present.

Where he instantaneously finds love.

Good enough to forget his fiancé who he ditched minutes earlier.

And this love loves Paris in the rain too.

A match made in heaven.

Fin.

It was just the most beautiful story and the movie had a real Woody Allen feel to it. The credits roll in the strangest way as they do in most of his films which to me end up looking like TV movies. 

But then there were minutes of nothing but music and the beauty that is Paris. 

(If you're wondering who the museum girl is - it's Carla Bruni.

And the French girl who loves Paris in the rain is the assassin from MI4.

Figuring that out took me a while and was really killing me so I thought I'd save you the trouble.)

But, as I was going to sleep last night I couldn't help but think...

Where would I like to be transported to?

Would I be excited/ overwhelmed/ intimidated/ would I burst with creativity in their company?

Well,

I would love to have tea with Dali,

Or jello with Michelangelo

But, maybe I should stop rhyming and just live in the present.

As someone once said, 

"Yesterday is History, 

Tomorrow is a Mystery,

Today is a Gift,

That's why it's called the Present."

Or just forget all that and go to sleep and have my dreams directed by Woody Allen.

Because besides ice cream nothing in life should be vanilla.

Sweet dreams.