In wonderland

I haven't updated in my blog in an unusually long time.
Because I was busy having a fantabulous February.
Where was I?
In wonderland.
I might as well have called myself Alice...

I was so far removed from reality... reality being Bombay.
I decided to do many short trips and whatever else came my way.
It was a little Yes Man inspired.
Here's what I've learnt about myself and about life in general from my experiences:

I can't drink anything but apple juice on a flight.

But I can watch movies besides High School Musical 3.

10 minutes of staring at me eating a shawerma will make me share.

If I'm at a party and there's a pool, I will be thrown in.

Size doesn't matter. Especially when it's a big martini glass.

I find the deeper meaning in everything after 2 drinks.

And sometimes find even the answers to some of life's many unanswered questions. Except ones like "Why do Indian men hold hands and walk down the street?"

I can't run from 30 cows on the beach.

I can get slapped by a wave without even being mean to it.

I make pretty bad sandcastles even with all the right tools.

I can swim for more hours in the day than sleep.

Sea water + sand = dreadlocks.

A monkey can peel an orange just as well as he can peel a banana.

I can meditate. It is actually possible.

I will only wake up once a year at 6am - for the Oscars.

I love screaming Surprise!!! But hate the tension that comes with it. I take it way too seriously.

Always carry socks - for flights, dinners, to sleep and incase your phone is missing a cover.

All men should have beards.

I can still do a cartwheel. It's a very bad cartwheel but it's a cartwheel.

I can do the dance from The Artist (even better than The Artist).

And lastly... with a little help from Alice herself
"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"

Holi-Day!

This year I played a different kind of Holi.
This involved a lot of sleep and no throwing of colour or drinking of Bhang.

Yes, I just slept right through it.
But then there's always next year.

Happy Holi!

And Happy Birthday Mama.

Since love makes the world go round

Are you in love? 

Do you have a type? 

I don't think I do since at different stages in my life I have been fascinated by completely different people.

By age 10 I was in love with Doogie Howser MD. He was a genius, could cure anything and was handsome according to 10 yr old me.

Luckily things changed and I moved on to having a Leonardo Dicaprio obsession at around age 12.

That was followed by Wolverine, James Bond, Spiderman's friend, a Vampire, a few musicians, many more unrealistic loves and some others.

Then I came back to reality and focused on Leo again. What's not to love about him? He looks good and cares about saving the planet.

1000 points to him. 

And to the rest of you,

Happy Valentine's Day!

Here's one of my favourite songs just for you...

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on your back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
I want more fans, you want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

You're always trying to keep it real
And I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you.


And if you have a little trouble finding a way to shower all that love, here's a little help.

Sweet Dreams

I watched Midnight in Paris yesterday.

Woody Allen has made Paris look oh so beootifool and oh so romantique.

Not quite how I remember Paris. Maybe because I was busy stuffing my face with cheese and chocolate and for some reason salmon.

The movie was lovely. Weird too. But lovely. 

(Don't read the next paragraph unless you've already watched the movie. I hate when people tell you the story and kill it for you).

Owen Wilson - (a screenwriter engaged to Rachel McAdams) gets transported every night at Midnight to Paris in the 20's. 

A time he felt was the Golden Age.

He meets Dali and Hemingway and Picasso and so many others.

He can't believe how lucky he is.

And when he explains the fact that he's from the future while having a drink with a few surrealists, they don't see anything wrong in it. They understand strange.

He falls in love with Adriana - Picasso's lover/ muse.

She takes him back to la Belle Époque - what according to her was Paris' Golden Age.

Here they meet Gaugin, Degas and they think the Renaissance was the Golden Age.

They probably fantasize about having a chat with Michelangelo and Da Vinci.

After a few crazy nights of time traveling, parties and finding love, Owen Wilson decides to part ways with Adriana and live in the present.

Where he instantaneously finds love.

Good enough to forget his fiancé who he ditched minutes earlier.

And this love loves Paris in the rain too.

A match made in heaven.

Fin.

It was just the most beautiful story and the movie had a real Woody Allen feel to it. The credits roll in the strangest way as they do in most of his films which to me end up looking like TV movies. 

But then there were minutes of nothing but music and the beauty that is Paris. 

(If you're wondering who the museum girl is - it's Carla Bruni.

And the French girl who loves Paris in the rain is the assassin from MI4.

Figuring that out took me a while and was really killing me so I thought I'd save you the trouble.)

But, as I was going to sleep last night I couldn't help but think...

Where would I like to be transported to?

Would I be excited/ overwhelmed/ intimidated/ would I burst with creativity in their company?

Well,

I would love to have tea with Dali,

Or jello with Michelangelo

But, maybe I should stop rhyming and just live in the present.

As someone once said, 

"Yesterday is History, 

Tomorrow is a Mystery,

Today is a Gift,

That's why it's called the Present."

Or just forget all that and go to sleep and have my dreams directed by Woody Allen.

Because besides ice cream nothing in life should be vanilla.

Sweet dreams.

Follow your dreams

You know how our parents, teachers and other older people we're supposed to listen to always said follow your dreams. Well, last weekend I decided to finally take their advice and did just that.

I followed my dream all the way to Nasik.

And my dream was called Karsh Kale.

Now, I may sound like a stalker to you but I am just another ardent fan.

I somehow never made it to any of his gigs.

When I planned to go for the Ladakh Confluence in 2010, it got cancelled (and I still haven't got my refund).

And when I wanted to go for NH7 Weekender in 2011, my cousin decided to get married on the same weekend.

And even though he played at Blue Frog a million times, that didn't happen either.

So, I took some advice again and decided to try and try until I succeeded.

I wanted to test my luck and entered a lucky draw on Mumbaiboss.com. I thought if I won it would be a true sign that I was meant to be there. Since my life is not a movie, I didn't win. And since I was too desperate to go I decided to buy my ticket online and make the trip anyway.

I went with an equally enthusiastic group of people which made it even more fun.

That day, I woke up even before my alarm rang which is a true indication of my level of excitement.

We left Bombay at about 9 am and drove down to Nasik for the festival at York Vineyards.

I really dislike long drives and in the past have been drugged by friends (with anti-nausea tablets that also happen to put you to sleep) who want to avoid having to listen to me complain during the journey.

But this time no such thing happened. I enjoyed the drive and it didn't even feel like it was a long one.

My friend, Purva and I were already dreaming about Karsh who we fondly called Kersh (roll your r when you say it) since that's what some people call him. While we discussed what a special person he was with his musical talent coupled with his drop dead good looks, the boys in the car kept smiling and saying 'it's the beard'.

In the middle of this interesting discussion about what percentage of our love for Karsh had anything to do with his beard, we stopped at a Dhaba for lunch. The Dhaba was called Old Prabhu ka Dhaba and is about 20 minutes away from Nasik close to the Samsung factory that I don't remember ever seeing.

Now one of my pet peeves is people touching food with their hands while making it, especially cakes and other desserts which I like to believe come straight out a machine, virginal and pretty looking.

So when we were on our way to the dhaba, I began discussing how while I love watching shows like Ultimate Cake off and Fabulous Cakes on TV, this pet peeve of mine sort of makes it hard for me to watch such shows. This information only won me strange girl points and ten minutes later helped us decide where I'd be seated at the Dhaba i.e. not facing the open kitchen.

After a scrumptious meal, we headed towards York Vineyards which happens to be just a minute away from Sula Vineyards. We got lost a couple of times and everytime we asked a man for directions he either asked us "what are you doing here?" like we were going the wrong way on purpose or he'd point his hand to the right like our destination was just across the street. Clearly the people of Nasik think we're stupid.

We reached Nasik by the middle of the afternoon and began our tour of the vineyard. While the owner of the vineyard showed everyone around (nice touch) and explained how everything works, I decided to pose next to the wine barrels (what else can I call it?) and take some pictures.

We then headed to the Tasting Room which overlooked the lawn where the performances would be, beyond which was the vineyard bordered by the lake.

We tasted the White, Rosé and the Red wines which were fairly good but I decided to skip my wine appreciation shenanigans since I couldn't pretend to have the knowledge of a sommelier and was drinking out of a plastic cup.

After our wine tasting we headed down to the lawn and began watching the performances.

Nasik had great weather and the lawn had 0 insects and since not too many people had turned up, it was just perfect for everyone to sit out on the grass and enjoy the performances while sipping their wine.

Alisha Pais opened the show. She had a nice powerful voice but I don't remember her singing any original songs.

She was followed by Something Relevant - a very large band. They have individual musical talent but together end up singing slightly wannabe cool lyrics (about women and drugs) to a somewhat Jamaican tune. This was when Purva and I decided to hop into a wooden barrel and stomp on some grapes and kill time.

Here's a question: Do they ever serve the wine made by women stomping on grapes?

Getting back to the gig... then came Mr. Woodnote and Eva Lazarus. Their music was extremely catchy. Loved it. Mr. Woodnote seemed to have more music in him than the whole Something Relevant family.

By now Purva and I had enjoyed a bottle of Rosé that we thought was made in the machine (or however it's made) since according to us, it didn't smell like feet.

Then came 2 other acts - Ayush Shrestha and someone who called himself Tek.

They were followed by Shri of Shrilektric. Now that's what you call true musical talent.

Shri plays this instrument that he has made by himself. It looks like a guitar. He sometimes plays it like a violin/cello with a bow and sometimes he manages to get a drum-like sound out of it. It was original, catchy and entertaining and made going all the way to Nasik worth it. And when I made him take several pictures till we got a good one, he was just so kind about it. 100 points for Shri.

Being in such a good mood, I decided to treat myself to a Vadilal's Raspberry Dolly which is when for a short while I probably looked like Dita Von Teese or like I had just eaten paan.

And a pint of White wine later Karsh finally arrived.

He played the drums, tabla, some other instrument and even sang. He is a self taught musical genius and knows just how to create the perfect kind of fusion music. Now as obsessed as I may seem with him, he had much bigger male fans standing next to me ready to jump onto the stage.

To be honest I may have enjoyed Shri's music a little more that day. The Dholak just makes you want to dance.

But, I left Nasik lovestruck.

Karsh's music + voice + gentlemanly demeanor + dimples + the beard (Yes, it plays a major role) is something you just can't ignore. He makes your heart just drop to your feet.

Fact: He looks even better than his Google image.

So, here's something to sum up everything - even though I'm not quite sure about what exactly it means.

As one of the many male fans of Karsh said... "Karsh Bhai, You are within it".

If you're reading this post on your mobile phone, you've probably missed the first few paragraphs so read it on your computer.

Cheers to us!

via

It's a little late in the day, but Happy New Year anyway.

They say, the way you spend the first day of the new year is what the rest of your year will be like.

So, it looks like 2012 for me will be filled with sipping wine at breakfast, going for a swim and carrying a stomach full of french fries and OJ. All this awesomeness sandwiched betweeen 366 sunrises and 366 sunsets.

Who am I kidding? That can't possibily happen everyday. Can it?

Will 2012 be that good a year for me?

Will it be that good a year for the world?

For India atleast?

India for me, is my life. It's everyday. It's so a part of me that I don't notice it anymore.

Besides being the birthplace of many religions, 

we also invented the number Zero, 

wrote the Kama Sutra, 

invented Yoga 

and were the first people to make buttons.

Yes, buttons!

Now, I love saying we, and indirectly taking credit for all those things by just being Indian, but living here everyday even while being surrounded by the chaos, life does seem pretty prosaic.

Or atleast it did until I met some friends visiting from another land who helped me find the poetry in our everyday lives.

As much as we think that India is pretty similar to the rest of the world on many levels, here are some questions I was faced with which give us an idea of what the rest of the world thinks of us:

I provided them with some answers, while the rest remained in my head.

1. Why do Indian men stare so much?

Because they're fascinated with white skin.

2. And why do they stare at you?

They are also fascinated with brown skin.

3. Why do some old men have orange hair? Is it henna?

Yes, that's how they dye it.

4. Do you not get hair dye in India?

No, we do. They just think orange hair looks super cool.

5. Why do random people like to take pictures with us? 

Please refer to Answer 1.

6. What do they do with these pictures?

Upload them on Facebook?

7. Why is everyone trying to cheat us?

Umm..

8. Is it safe to eat this?

No.

9. Do all girls marry early?

No. Not enough men in the sea.

10. Is a girl not allowed to talk to her father-in-law?

Only in Hindi serials.

11. Wow! they sell a lot of stuff on the street (looking at a man selling drums).

Yea, so you can do your shopping while being stuck in traffic. And then get home and start a band.

12. Is he talking to me?

Yes.

13. Why?

He's just drunk.

That made me realise - we are pretty different/ weird/ interesting.

Their evaluation: Bombay is a lot like Tel Aviv. 

I suppose it's the sea and the whole bag checking exercise.

Here's to 361 more days in the awesome land that we call India.

And some holidays away to keep us sane.

12 Truths for the 12 days of Christmas

*

The egg came before the chicken. How do I know that?

Well, I figured it out by instinctively answering a questionnaire on a website.

My answer: The egg came before the chicken because the chicken was busy crossing the road.

*

My right arm will always be fatter than my left arm and my left foot will always be bigger than my right. Somehow I've made peace with it by telling myself that that's how I'm maintaining some sort of balance (in the universe).

*

Murphy's Law rocks my world. Honestly!

*

I am an ambidextrous nail painter. 

*

Chris Martin's daughter is an alphabet away from being a cocktail.

*

Everyone who looks out of this world has been photoshopped, airbrushed, botoxed, starved or spray tanned.

*

Decent stores on Hill Road should be renamed Adidas. Because they really live by the tagline Impossible is Nothing. Whether you want an Iphone 8 or a shampoo made from the hormones of an ostrich sunbathing in Honolulu, they can get it for you.

*

The Real Housewives of New Jersey are the new Kardashians.

*

I will find a doppleganger for every Kardashian before my next birthday.

*

Rice does not make you fat. It's all in the mind. And it's the same logic with ageing creams and lip plumpers. So do yourself a favour and stop reading magazines.

*

Only Nigella Lawson can add huge chunks of meat to her food and follow it up with a line like "Let's Live a little" and get away with it. Anything is possible in Nigella's Christmas Kitchen.

*

And if you are far away from your loved ones this holiday season and are missing them, just look up at the Moon. Knowing that someone somewhere can see the same thing as you makes you feel like you can't be all that far.

*

Santa Hat Brownies by Daisy

If you didn't get the Chris Martin joke. It's Apple Martini.

Hope you are showered with many such beverages this season!

Have a Merry Christmas & a Super 2012 minus the Apocalypse.

The Not-so-big Ben

On November 5, I couldn't get out of bed and while lazing around in my half dreamy state I imagined that my wall clock had turned into Big Ben.

I then woke up and realised it was only just a dream.

I jumped out of bed charged enough to make that dream a reality and went shopping for Permanent markers of different sizes. And here's what happened...

I tried to fit the Big Ben into my room and that didn't exactly work so it's slightly bent at the top. Oh Well!
So now I wake up and see the time on the Not-so-Big Ben in my room everyday.


A special thanks to my sister, Akshaya who took a million pictures for my stop motion video without complaining.


Music by Katie Herzig.

Gollywood

I watched 2 movies over last weekend - one Hollywood and one Bollywood.

They were good/bad and a little bit of ugly.

And then today I woke up and while I stared at the wall in front of me for about half an hour, my mind went into flashback mode (with the hazy white edges) and for some reason I began to compare the two movies.

Here is the list I drew up on Excel. Because sometimes even the most arbid thoughts need to be documented.

For the record I loved Breaking Dawn even with its weird storyline that somehow made sense to me.

The Dirty Picture on the other hand was hard to digest even though it was based on a true story. All it had going for it was Vidya Balan and one good song.

The Dirty Picture is the third movie I have walked out of in my life. The first was LSD and the second was Robot.

I walked out when I thought it had ended when Emraan Hashmi started singing a Sufi song with dancing dervishes around him after miraculously falling in love with Silk. This happened after they both competed while making and starring in triple role films. Bleck!

A New Beginning

It's already December. It's almost time to celebrate the arrival of the New Year.
But, don't worry. This is not a post about resolutions. Mainly because I never make any.

It's winter.
Everyone's getting married.
Strawberries are in season.
And creatures are going into hibernation.

But, I'm not one to follow the herd.
And so I've decided to come out of my 2 month hibernation and get back to my blog.

Being so close to 2012, I can't help but think of the predictions made by Nostradamus & gang.
To start the year on a positive note, I've made a Calendar which makes me go...

Come rain, Come shine.

2012 will be just fine.

Here's to having the best year yet!

Concept & design by me. 
Photo by Akshaya.