Happy birthday week

Its been a long time since my last blog. Missed it but somehow didn't find the time since I was somewhat 'lost in procrastination'.

I have so many thoughts. Too many thoughts. So many ideas about art, decorating my house, how I could be mean to people I don't like, kill insects in a twisted way so that it doesn't add onto my bad karma and so so much more.

So aaanyway today I've decided that come what may, I'm blogging. I had a super long day that involved copying everything from my computer onto my hard drive, a lot of unplugging and cleaning and packing. And now I look as muscular as Madonna. Said a quick goodbye to my old computer (which had a name btw) and decided I'm not going to feel bad about it or get attached to anything anymore. I have cried for everything from losing a pen to selling our old Fiat which had lost 90 percent of its paint and was more brown than white. But I have something new and shiny to look forward to and till then I'm just blogging from my phone. What determination right?!

So this was birthday week. Fell on a Monday so didn't have the usual party. Had a fab dress for the first time and no chance to wear it. Dammit! Anyway wore my backup outfit. Yes I take my birthday very seriously. Mallika called herself my maid of honour on my birthday. I'm glad I've trained her well.

Started the birthday with a big fat chinese lunch. Went prepared dressed in pregnancy wear so the duck dressed in plum sauce had enough space to float around in my tummy. Followed that with a good nap and woke up all charged for some wii. Met some friends, cut a cake, made a looong wish hoping for miracles. Why not. Then went out for dinner to Pali Village Cafe with the school friends. Nice place but not all that its made out to be. Liked the unfinished look of the place but they went a tad bit overboard with it and I wasn't sure whether it was me or the walls of the restaurant that needed to get plastered. Anyway had plenty of Sangria. By the way that too gives you wings. Sorry Red bull. Had some interesting conversations which for a change didn't revolve around embarrassing me but focused more on important topics like if you're with your girlfriend/ boyfriend would you rather smell their poop or let them smell yours. Great 25th birthday dinner conversation and definitely something to think about. Its Friday and I still don't know my answer.

Anyway to summarise my birthday dinner, it was great and I was flying. Remember going to the loo and a random boy wished me happy birthday. Now I obviously don't remember him so let's just pretend that he was cute. Haha. Ended the night with random people singing the happy birthday song and dessert 'avec' sparklers. Wow I just spoke french. (Excited Mallika?)

The Sun Jar

Got some super nice gifts. Yes I'm a greedy gift lover. Muahaha.

Got some awesome shoes and clothes. Even a sun jar. A very cool jar full of sunshine that I like to sit by every night now. I also got a cool miniature alarm clock and a toast stamp with which u can emboss good morning into your toast. What a perfect way to start your day with happy toast that speaks to you. And Mallika also gifted me mulitple orgasms in the form of two boxes of Lindor. A special word has also been coined to describe this - its called 'lindorgasms'. How intelligent! But this is not just any Lindor, its the duty free one, the fresh variety that explodes in your mouth. I have done a lot of research in this area clearly.

Anyway I think that's enough of knowledge that has been imparted for one day. Stayed up to watch High School Musical 3. I actually know the lyrics of the songs. You can think I'm super lame but its my happy movie and if I was 16 I'd say Zac Efron was hot but unfortunately I'm 25.

Its very late now and my eyes need some dreaming. Off to the Hamptons (Gorai) for the weekend.

Have a good one.

All fished out

The summer heat is really getting to me. You sweat. A shower never seems good enough. You can't use all the nice lotions unless you're insane in the membrane. And to top it all your hair looks like crap every single day of summer. I'd like to believe that my 'au naturel' hairstyle on some days resembles Scarlett Johansson's from the Mango ads but I guess only I think that. I have tried to pass of my bad hair days as my 'out of bed' look but for that all I do is actually just get out of bed and look that way which is probably not what Scarlett does. I have a lot to learn.

Yesterday was fun. Mallika and I went swimming. All we did was floated and then we talked about life - something that never seems to get old. Mallika thought I resembled a turtle in the pool but after I got out and looked at myself in the mirror I looked a little more like badly done toast. I got a tan which was like an outline drawing on my body telling me where exactly I had worn my swimsuit and is now like a manual for me the next time I need to wear a swimsuit (which is tomorrow - Yay!) incase I ever forget how to wear one. We followed that with a steam and left the club looking like 2 freshly made pancakes. I don't know why I'm calling myself a pancake but can't think of a better comparison.

Now here's the awesomely cool part. Mallika and I then went for fish pedis. We got there super excited and once we sat down neither of us had the guts to go through with it. We went through a session of you-go-first-no-you-go-first-no-you for what seemed like the duration of 'Gone with the Wind'. It got so embarrassing and to make it even worse the lady there actually started dragging our feet into the tank. This is when we realized we are not made for Fear Factor.

So anyway I realized I can't chicken out and so we went ahead and said a little prayer and stuck our feet in a tank full of tiny toothless fish (brought from Turkey just for us). They felt like little bubbles around our feet. Like mini jacuzzis. We totally loved it and decided to make our 15 minute fish therapy into a 30 minute one. How brave were we?! We even made sure that none of the fish got lazy and were slaves to our soon to be beautiful feet.

This is when I thought now I'm ready for some scuba. The first steps have been taken and now I can deal with not getting freaked out by fish.

Lakshadweep is calling meeee. Been wanting to go back there since I was a kid. Hoping Aku will be excited about it too and join me though as a kid she had plans of going to the Himalayas and meeting Shiva (and maybe having a tea party). She also wanted gloves so she could break dance like MJ. Oh what an interesting life she did lead!

So anyway we got home and acted like we had just popped out of 'The Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous' and felt pretty awesome about our day. After this I killed an hour watching tv. Watched Gilmore Girls. I like Rory's new boyfriend. He's like a bad boy who has a perfectly charming smile that washes away his sins. Just like that. Don't know why girls always like whats so wrong. Was a nice episode but can't understand why everyone on that show talks so fast. I mean every single person on that show speaks super fast like they want to finish reading the script of 2 shows in one episode.

During the show I watched what I thought was a pretty hilarious Garnier ad. So a girl walks in and tells her sister, "Oh no! I've got a grey hair" (like a meteor has just hit planet Earth) and says "Rohan's going to dump me" which is when her sister comes to her rescue by handing her a box of Garnier Hair colour. The next day the girl prances in with her newly coloured hair and her sister asks her "So did Rohan call" and coloured hair girl says "Vijay, Kapil and Raj too". If only it were that easy to solve all of life's problems.

So basically if this is true Rohan's dumping me and Vijay, Kapil and Raj are not even going to bother asking me for my number after seeing my 4 strands of grey hair that I like to call character.

Or I'll meet a man who's not shallow. Hahahaha.

Anyway now I'm off to tune TV channels for the grandmother since she asked me to about a year ago.

Love the fishiness of yesterday. From swimming like one to having them swim around me to finally eating some at dinner. What a beautiful and complex life I do lead!

End of an era?

Its been a while since my last blog. I'm sorry if I'm disappointing my followers but I've suddenly had a life. Haha. Its also the end of an era. I won't tell you why yet.

So not knowing what to write I'll just summarize what's been happening since my last blog.

• I traveled far and wide to the lands of Gorai and Madh island both for birthday parties.

• I started using a new toothpaste. Its Colgate for strong teeth. Can't stand it one bit. Want to murder it and replace it with Colgate total asap. My life doesn't feel right without it.

• I've finally realized I really don't like Hrithik Roshan. All he has got going for him is the worm in his ass dance. Not going to impress me forever so have taken a decision to THROW HIM TO THE LIONS.

• Realised that God didn't plant me on Earth to get married and have decided to put other things on the agenda like getting a fish pedicure.

• I start my day everyday by reading the wikiquote on wikipedia. Dont know why exactly but I do. Very rarely they're nice. Generally they are so long and make no sense but I read them anyway.This is yesterdays - Before abstraction everything is one, but one like chaos; after abstraction everything is united again, but this union is a free binding of autonomous, self-determined beings. Out of a mob a society has developed, chaos has been transformed into a manifold world. ~ Novalis.   Whaaaat? If I could say something to Novalis, whoever he is (not even interested in wiki-ing him) in my bad hindi I'd say Tu mad hai kya??

• Been reading Karan Johar's articles in Bombay Times every Thursday. He is turning into a boring aunty giving advice on life. Couldn't really care. He should stick to what he does best - Gossip.

• Hating that its birthday month. Feels very stressful.Want everything to slow down but would still like it to fast forward to May 7 so I can watch Iron Man 2. Big fan. Secretly wish my name was as cool as Pepper Potts.

• Finally watched Terms of Endearment this weekend and cried my eyes out. So, yes I have a heart. I also cry when dogs learn to swim. Still need to understand why.

• Been listening to a new car cd with old songs on it. Thanks Ano. Only you could manage to make me a cd like this. My cd favourites are Etta James 'At Last' and 'The way you look Tonight' - the Michael Buble version (yes that's actually his surname). I secretly wished my future husband would have an awesome voice and sing that to me on our wedding day. And I'd sing a rap song so noone judges my bad singing voice or the fact that I always sing the wrong lyrics. I have actually sang 'I found America in you' for 'I've found a miracle in you'.

• I have decided that my future husband will also be a good public speaker (like Shashi Tharoor atleast). This will probably never happen cause I'm guessing I'll most probably marry an Indian and I think Indians do not possess public speaking skills. But anyway if he does, then what a turn on.

This weekend was somewhat boring. Spent most of it at home. Tried convincing my friend Mallika to come pick me up and take me to Cheap Jack (a random store nearby) to buy a lot of crap and go eat icecream but that didn't work out.

Met a couple of friends last night and we talked about how we all totally loved the Crystal Maze and Mumzy and going 'Into the Crystal Dome' to catch coloured pieces of paper. How random. I think I'm going to youtube it today. I miss baldy O'Brien.

Still in search of the life plan. But starting to think I'm pretty capable. I could do anything I guess.

As a kid I was so over confident. I wanted to be a doctor or an artist and other regular stuff like that and then I also assisted Aku in so many of her little business ventures. Think I could add it to my work ex on my CV.

• I was assisstant machi wali to her while she started pretending to sell fish in our living room.

• I was her hairstyling assisstant / practising mannequin head till Aku cut my moms hair for real while she was sleeping and that ended that career option.

• We owned a chaddi shop together where we sold paper cut out underwear at parties in our living room again. This time we set up a table and even priced them according to how great the filmstar in the underwear cutout was. Salman Khan - Rs. 5 , Madhuri Dixit Rs. 10

• We even had our own bank.

• Besides all this I'm sure I even could speak Gujrati. What more did I need in life?

Proof that I was a star.

I think 5 yr old Neha was ready to be the next Ambani. Too bad that I grew up and all those hopes and dreams just vanished.

Do the loco-motion with me

Monday mornings - I wish they could just be skipped. Even if they had to exist but could be renamed would make it easier. Sunday the sequel sounds pretty good to me.

Started the day with a mango. What a perfect start. Drove to work. Car sing-along-song of the day happened to be Kylie Minogue's Locomotion. There's something about songs like these that just never gets old. You automatically feel your shoulders dancing to the music since you can't exactly shake your hips while driving. Love to sing along in the car (when I'm alone) though I'm secretly afraid that I'm being taped for that Vh1 show. I forget what its called.

So, all along Mahim causeway I was singing away but unfortunately noone did the loco-motion with me. Before I knew it I was doing the shoulder movements of my 80's dance- what I like to call the 'aunty' dance. It somewhat resembles the Steve Carell-Tina Fey awkward pole dance in Date Night. I don't think I've laughed so hard for a movie ever. Everytime someone pisses me off these days in my head I'm thinking 'Zip your Face!' and giggle like a silly girl.

Its a pretty bad habit of mine to just randomly giggle. I find very silly things funny at times and can't help but laugh and people who don't get why I'm laughing probably just think I'm mentally unstable. Recently, I was at the Doctor and he was giving me instructions about what medicines I need to take and ends with don't eat any raw vegetables in a very serious tone and I couldn't help but giggle. He just looked very puzzled and thought I was a strange girl so I thought I'd just explain why I was laughing. I told him you don't have to worry about that, cause I never eat raw veggies and don't ever plan on either. Haha. So, anyway I left his clinic laughing like a moron. Hopefully by the next time I see him he'll have forgotten.

I'm just a very awkward conversation-maker. So I'm sure people always tend to think I'm shy or a snob or just odd. The funniest conversation I make is with babies and animals. I just can't seem to get myself to do baby/ cute talk.

So, the other day when a dog was about to pee on the back tyre of my car I just yelled 'Eh, what are you doing? and he turned around and looked at me with such sad eyes like he was saying sorry and began to walk away. I just felt so horrible at that point. And just mumbled "ok. come back and piss all you want". I'm not sure if I even wanted that which is why I was probably mumbling hoping he wouldn't hear and come back. How very complex! But, I just can't get that incident out of my head. It was like we had a little conversation there. And it seemed to be more successful than most others I've had lately.

Anyway getting sleepy now. Monday wasn't all that bad. Was pretty eventful for me actually. Just don't feel like sharing it. Haha.

Learnt the perfect way to get through a Monday.

All you need is 'a little bit of rhytmn and a lot of soul'.

Thank God its Sunday

Hello again. I didn't write last night. Was sort of weird not to. Why did I not blog? Not cause I was partying saturday night but maybe cause I grew from a girl into a lazy. Anyway sat making a birthday card for Aku to put on her cake. Got overexcited and made two. One regular and one theme based. Don't ask. I get very overexcited about birthdays even when they're not mine.

Sprung out of bed at 6.30am today for tennis. Yes on a sunday morning. This miracle doesn't happen on any other day of the week. On weekdays getting out of bed is like driving at 20 km in 3rd gear for my body. That's the best way to describe it. But Sunday is something else. Wore my special tennis clothes, cap et al. Have been wearing the same keds for the past 8 yrs. Makes my mom so mad. But they're so good. Feel like each of my feet is being hugged by a teddy bear. Anyway I had a couple of Serena moments and ended it with a good breakfast- cheesetoast and mango milkshake at Leopold. Missed u chotu. Came home and crashed for about 3 hours. Felt like I had been drugged. Was the perfect Sunday sleep.

Summer has gotten unbearable already. Forget frying an egg on the road, I think we can bake a whole lasagna. 30 mins at 300 degrees. Feel like roaming around in a swimsuit all day. My little nieces and nephew actually did that yesterday. Would be a bit bizarre if I did the same thing. Really wish I could. Except that I look like a cross between a zebra and a human. Maybe its a punishment for not moisturising.

Try it.

According to me no Indian girl can ever have the perfect swimsuit body. Its a curse. Thinking of trying out this eating for your Blood type thing hoping to break the curse. I, being Blood type O am the original Blood type, that of the predator. Till this point I felt all great and powerful. Like a lioness ruling a jungle. Its frightening how it described me to the t. I am focused and very detail oriented and have a very bad temper. How true. I have my psycho moments pretty often. Then it said that we're primarily meat eaters and shouldn't have dairy, pasta, ketchup, flour, mayo, all the tasty fruit juices, all the dryfruits that are edible after which I realised all I'd be having is water. So I think I might just not try it out after all.

I have also quit yoga since a month. Surprise surpise! Haha. As I said before I'm too much of a lazy to wake up at 7. I need my beauty sleep. Here's some random good news. I finally conquered my fear of swallowing capsules last week so I'm sort of going through the "I can do anything" phase. Probably a good time to finally properly learn cycling. Don't think anyones letting me get the training wheels unfortunately.

Anyway now its dinner time. But dying to eat bread-butter-tea. What a deadly combo. Its my happy food.

I think I'll leave the rest of my thoughts for tomorrows blog or this might accidently turn into a book. Maybe Shobha De and Penguin would be interested. Haha.

Bonne nuit.

And the City

This is my third post. Third consecutive day. I'm beginning to feel like Carrie (of SATC), thinking aloud but still in my head, sitting at my computer everyday trying to be as honest as possible, having dinners/ you're so much better off without him sessions with my 3 galpals (don't kill me for calling you that), enjoying a cosmo every now and then. Except that my Manolos are regular Indian shoes, my Mr. Big and Aiden phases both seem to be over which is pretty clear in my incomplete blog post title and I haven't found my tutu yet.

So what did I do today?

After work I made it to the art shop. Picked up some papers and pens. Didn't get myself to start drawing yet. Instead bought my sister Aku a birthday present. Aaah! the relief. I feel like its my duty to be like a birthday Santa Claus.

After that we went to an Interiors exhibition. Don't really know why. Just saw an ad in the paper and forced Aku to come along. Was pretty crappy. Left with a baking tray for muffins. Very random since

1. we were at an Interior Design exhibition when I'm a graphic designer and Aku's a banker and don't really have any place to decorate in particular.

2. I bought a baking tray when I don't even cook.

3. Spent Rs. 90 (entry + parking) just to go to a random exhibition and leave with a baking tray.

So now that I've got the tray I'm going to use it for whenever I make chocolate souffle again. Varun you are inspiring when you're not a bum. Haha. I am posting a picture of your masterpiece. Hoping that my new buy will help balance the oranges while in the oven.

Been figuring out blog related stuff today. Managed to change the entire blogger template. Pat pat! That's me patting myself on the back incase you were wondering. So pretty tired now so will crash. I could tell you how I did it and how I changed the html stuff and added the xml and sound fancy but maybe tomorrow. Haha

What a random day! But I love my city.

Still treading the path of self discovery. Hoping to get some answers in my dreams.

Adios Amigo.

ps: I'm secretly a Charlotte.

I'm back

photo by me.

Hello again my 2 followers who have been made to follow me.

I'm not going to ask you how your day was since this isn't exactly a conversation. Actually it sort of is the perfect conversation - where only I get to talk.

So anyway my day was pretty average. I went to work and did pretty much nothing. Ended the day by playing a game of solitaire which I surprisingly lost considering I play a one card draw. Aaaaaaaa! I hate losing. But then I came home and drowned my sorrows in Sol Kadi rice and fried pomfret.

Moving on...

Spent most of my day surfing the internet. Love finding cool art online. Found some cool rubbish too - 10 Reasons why it would Rule to Date a Unicorn. Felt like that answered all of life's questions. So, when in doubt date a unicorn.

I find myself constantly seeking some sort of direction. I couldn't be more lost and distracted. Even at this very moment I'm so damn distracted or maybe that's just because of the annoying IPL tune. Yes I am not an IPL follower and 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn'. Ok so that was my Rhett moment of the day. Woohoo!

What is my purpose in life? I have no idea. Maybe one day I'll sit under the Bodhi tree and something magical will happen. If not I'll carry snacks along and turn it into a picnic.

What I've come to realise at this very very young age is that everyone's as confused in life and it doesn't matter. Its not the destination but the journey... blah blah blah... ok that's nonsense.

The moral of my little lesson is when everything in your life seems wrong kill all the doubts and stress in a Sol kadi tsunami in your tummy.

And if not then date a unicorn.

Goodnight.

P.s: A 'You had me at Hello' response would be nice.

(Photo is of someone elses artwork in a bandra galli shot by me. Great stuff by whoever you are. I drive through this narrow galli to work just to see it).

Too many thoughts too little time

via Yodisphere

Why have I entered the world of blogging? I'm sort of wondering about that myself.

The title of my first ever post sort of explains why.

So I've been thinking of starting to write for atleast 2 yrs now but procrastination seems to be my middle name. I feel like this is a great way to express yourself. I never wrote a diary cause I never wanted anyone (my mom) to find it. I actually never liked writing cause it reminded me of essays I was forced to write in school. Plus I'm a pretty 'private' person. I'm a lady who prefers to remain a mystery. Or so I thought.

But I just felt what the hell, lets just try out this blogging thing cause why not.

So the purpose of this blog is nothing really. And I mean it when I say nothing really. At the moment I have all of 0 followers. Yay! By tomorrow my sweet sister Aku will be following my blog. If my mom and grandmom ever understood what a blog was they'd be follower no. 2 and 3.

I'm no writer or wannabe writer even. I don't particularly enjoy reading cause I find it too time consuming. I'd rather be watching a movie based on the book. All the people who love reading and who are reading this are probably thinking what a loser, but you know what, it doesn't matter. Everyone has a different opinion on everything. And I think I have a pretty good imagination anyway. So I don't mind watching what someone else had visualised for a movie rather than reading and visualising it for myself. And yes I'm lazy.

Today is the beginning of the one week my boss has let me take time off to explore new things. Since I'm a graphic designer I think I was probably meant for creative exploration which this sort of is. I also chose bathroom tiles today (random irrelevant information I felt like sharing).

And yes I watched Julie & Julia but this is not inspired by that or I'd be deboning a duck tonight which doesn't seem very likely.

Goodnight.